Q - Dear Annabelle, Okay, here it is. I have known my coach, John, for five years. We are VERY close friends. We are pretty dependent on each other for support. Well, his son, who I just got to know this past week, asked me out. I thought,"hey cool, he's pretty cool," so we started to go out. The one thing that I must say, right now, is that I have always liked John, a lot. So, about two days ago, John and I start to talk, and we got on the subject of his son and I and he said, if I can remember correctly, "You know, if you were 18, I would be trying like hell to get close to you, but right now, I hate to say it, I'm jealous, because my son is finally seeing what I have seen in you all along." Now I am so incredibly confused it's not even funny. I LOVE John and would do anything to be with him, but I'm not 18. And I don't want to hurt his son. What should I do? Please help!! A - Dear 'J', This is important, so I'm, going to answer quickly and briefly. A 'coach/athlete' relationship is a very personal one and can lead to things like this, for a number of reasons. Your 'coach' is, very simply, out of line here and has crossed a very serious boundary in saying what he did to you. *Tell your parents.* (ALWAYS keep the line of communication to your parents open). That you would be interested in his son is understandable. You're sixteen and this is an emotionally tender age. Whether or not your coach has 'feelings' for you, other than pride and interest in your abilities in your field of interest, and that he has the lack of judgment to say so, speaks badly of his ability to control his conversation, not to mention his impulses. 'Impulse' control is a VERY big component of being a 'grownup'. This is called a 'boundary', and he crossed it. This is not good. In life, there are always 'boundaries'. Adults, (and I am assuming that he is over 21), should.....*notice the 'should'*.......... have them firmly in place. I won't confuse you with lurid details. Can you find another coach? - Annabelle