Q - Dear Annabelle, Four months ago I broke up with my boyfriend who I was serious with. We had been together for 6 months and planned on getting married next year. The break-up was messy and I still miss him, (but not as much as I used to.) I recently started dating someone who I really wanted to go out with. Now that weâve started going out I can't stand the sight of him! He drops by all the time, brings flowers, calls all the time. He's nice and all and everyone is like, "He's a nice guy, stay with him." I don't feel like it. I want a boyfriend but I am not really into this guy. This has happened every time in my past relationships except for my ex. I loved him so much and wanted to be with him all the time. I am so afraid I'll never feel that way again. I'm so confused, please help me out. A - Dear Noelle, Well, I could be wrong, but Iâll bet that, when you were a four year-old munchkin and were going through that ăI LOVE you, daddy" stage, that Îdaddyâ was too busy to spend time with you, or that in some other way he was unavailable...maybe even unpleasant or abusive. You only THINK you want a Înice guyâ who brings you flowers and stuff like that. Now, letâs think about that Înice guyâ for a minute.......ânice guysâ like that, when they were four year-old munchkins learned to be really NICE to Îmommyâ so she would be Îhappyâ.......(maybe Îmommyâ was depressed, I donât know). So...the two of you are Îbookendsâ ........only youâre not a Îmatchâ. YOU donât have what it takes to recognize and be comfortable with, a Îniceâ guy and HE responds with love and flowers trying to make you happy. Hey, they write books and movies about stuff like this........only in books or movies they, (usually,) also write happy endings. THIS time YOU get to write a Îhappy endingâ IF you get yourself to a good psychologist while youâre still young enough to be flexible..(before this pattern becomes too ingrained). At 19, your core self is setting up pretty quickly, but, if youâre willing to put in the time you CAN learn to happily accept good stuff.......thereâs still time. See? Life is just one big learning experience. Care to guess how many people refuse to learn its lessons? (Know what 'happens' to people who 'refuse to learn lessons'?.....yup, they get to REPEAT them over and over .......and over and........well, you get the idea.) - Annabelle