Q - Dear Annabelle, My fiance cheated on me 3 years ago. I still to this day cannot trust him at all. Everywhere he goes I have to go, I can't leave his side, I don't like him going out for even a half an hour. Why canāt I just let it go? It would be so much easier on both of us. A - Dear Amy, At 4:40 on New Yearās morning, (assuming your computerās clock is correct), you, at 17, are writing to Annabelle? What a LIFE you have chosen for yourself.....and at so young an age, too! You donāt say how old your fianceā is, but, that you even HAVE a fianceā at 17.......and are chewing over something that happened at 14, indicates that youāre not clear about Īhow things, (healthy things), workā. Basically, you Īcanāt let goā because you donāt even have a LIFE! Truly. Amy, if you had seen a wonderful article of clothing in a store and been all excited about it, bought it without doing enough research, and taken it home where you found it just DIDNāT fit, youād either take it back to the store, give it away of just stick it in the back of your closet and forget about it. Thatās just what you've got here.......and Īill-fittingā situation. This guy and you are no Īmatchā....EXCEPT that he fills some Īneedā of yours to grouse and feel bad about how things are. Hey, whatās the point in that? This guy isnāt fianceā material....(unless youāre looking to star in your own ongoing Īpoor meā drama). Youāre not in any way, shape or form nearly ready to pair up with anyone. He does serve some purpose, (what it is I donāt know). Why it is you donāt want to be happy and move forward, I donāt know. Why it is you are defining yourself in terms of a self-described hurtful relationship, I donāt know. Only a professional counselor could help you with that one. You know Īhowā to Īlet it goā?....you just DO, Amy....and get on with YOUR life. Thereās no Īmagicā to be done. When something has to be done....you just DO it. Thatās all. Thatās called having courage.....and good sense. You do whatās RIGHT because it IS the Īrightā thing to do........and you don't sit around moaning about your Īfeelingsā. Thatās one of the Īlessonsā you learn as you progress toward being a Īgrownupā. You do Īthe rightā thingā, not because it's easy, but because itās the RIGHT thing to do. When you get rid of the things in your life that DON'T work, then thereās room in your life for things that DO work. Start the New Year right, Amy......... - Annabelle