Q - Dear Annabelle, I'm in a relationship where I'm just not sure what I want. I love the girl but not how I think I should, she's completely smitten with me and I can't stand to hurt her, whenever we talk about it there is just to many tears. I know that if we do break up she'll never forgive me and then I will probably never see her again,which I couldn't stand. She wants an answer by next Friday, please help I just feel empty and I don't know where to turn. A - Dear John, Without knowing your age the answer cannot be too specific, however,.....letâs give it a go anyway. You sound as if youâre in your teens with this question. You have a friendship with a female with whom you do not feel ideally suited. She, on the other hand, feels that youâre the ONLY guy sheâll ever love and youâre feeling pressured, controlled, (by her tears), resentful and confused. You are NOT responsible for her state of mind or behavior..only for your own. When youâre young, itâs easy to mistake strong emotion for reality and then to make decisions based on the perceived reality. (I do apologize for not being able to answer sooner and I hope this has not given rise to further problems.) The Îanswerâ for her, is that you can do only what is in your heart. That she is manipulating you through her refusal to see you if she cannot Îhave her wayâ is a young girlâs petulance and, if you allow that kind of thing to rule your life, then your maturity would be in doubt as well as hers. In life, people, grown-up type people, do things because they are free to do them, not because if they donât do them an Îotherâ will hurt them emotionally. Neither you nor she is yet far enough away from childhood and you both are still living in the fear of the withdrawal of Îmommyâs loveâ.......you are moving toward adulthood where the inhabitants act from good character and mature motives.....(oh, how how I wish this were always true!),........anyway, donât let someone who holds your heart twist you about so. If someone threatens to leave if they donât get their way.....let them go. That is no way to go through life. When youâve grown up a bit more, and found yourself a more grown-up female, youâll understand this a bit better. - Annabelle