Q - Dear Annabelle, How do you get over a first love? A - Dear Kristin, One never really Īgets overā a first love, the anguish is just too sweet and awful at the same time. What happens is, after many years of other experiences, it gets filed under the ĪI remember.......ā part of your life. ĪFirst loveā is about being vulnerable to feelings that you didnāt even know you had. Itās about all the excitement, all the roller coaster of emotions and all the thrills and tears that wonāt ever really come in the same way again. Itās really not unlike those first wonderful barefoot days of warm weather where youāre outside with the unprotected soles of your feet feeling, not only the soft silky grass, but the unexpected sharpness of the pebbles on the path. By summerās end, you will have developed enough toughness on the bottoms of your feet that you can walk easily and without pain. The trick with a Īfirst loveā is to develop enough of an understanding of yourself that, while you are still vulnerable to wonderful feelings, that you donāt leave yourself open to being destroyed by the experience. Itās so fine a line to draw and so few people do it well, that the emotional landscape is littered with emotional casualties. I can remember the devastation of my Īfirst loveā affecting me so that, for ten years, I swore Iād never let that happen again. Not a really good, even though effective, plan, I assure you. The Īeasiestā way to get over a first love is to find a Īsecond loveā.....just as long as itās not a Īreboundā kind of thing which, frankly, it is very likely to be, and why you SEE Īreboundā things so very often. The human psyche is so constructed that it attends well to about one emotionally intense thing at a time.....there are exceptions, of course, but in general, finding a Īnewā love is a good way to go. Now, at 16, everything is still relatively new and, if you will let your studies be your center of interest with the social stuff running second and third, you will actually be placing your priorities in a way to provide yourself with, not only some protection form emotional devastation, but a good foundation for your future as well. You see, the Īlovesā that you have at this age will all pass away into memory as Īfriends I once knowā, but the education you acquire for yourself will travel with you through your lifetime and be useful in situations that, today, you cannot even dream of. This is a much longer answer than youād looked for, but know that, while your feelings are very important, and certainly age and stage-appropriate, Iām quite serious about your attending to your education. That is something you are doing for yourself....and, for these few years, at least, YOU need to be your first love. - Annabelle