Q - Dear Annabelle, Hi, I have a question about a long standing relationship. Okay, I have been iinvloved with this man for over a year, we are in high school. I have read your archives and am aware that you disagree with relationships. I am fully indenting to attend a four year university. I do love him though. Lately his mother has not let him see me very much and he has told me that he thinks she thinks it's because she thinks he is sneaking around behind her back to see me. He's not! I would appreciate it very much if you wouldn't reveal this over the internet for ALL EYES. I know you think it's not "right" to have a relationship of this caliber however i firmly believe you chose your our destiny and people who tell you what they think you should do is luticrus. In saying this I still would like your opinion. I don't want any "go to school, get $$$$$, etc etc etc " I just want a honest opinion on what could make his mother feel this way towards me. I have done nothing to her to make her feel this way. I try and try to be able to see him. Everytime he gets to visit me she says no at the last minute. What should I do??? A - Dear Utterly Confused, It just could be that his mother is of the belief that the young man in her care, the one to whom she gave birth, the one she has loved and cared for all these many years, has an opportunity to go out into the world and really MAKE something of himself, instead of spending his time with a young female who feels that education and understanding of Īhow the world REALLY worksā is of no interest. You see, we are all beings carrying DNA, and especially when we are young and primed to reproduce, that DNA simply doesnāt CARE what might be good for its Īcarrierā, it cares only that it join with another batch of DNA......(itās rather a mindless process)........and often produces Īmindlessā urges that donāt Īcareā about the other set of DNA either...only that the Īcarrierā be Īgottenā. THAT, ĪUtterly Confusedā, is just how youāve described yourself. Your ONLY concern is that you Īgetā THIS guy.....not whatās best, in the long run....not only for him, but also for yourself. That you are so focused on this goal only points up the reasonableness of his motherās assessment. You see, ĪUtterly Confusedā, if she saw in YOU a Īmatchā for her beloved son, a young woman who knows the immeasurable value of an excellent education, who was willing to WAIT for what she wanted, and in whom burns a passion, not only for her son, but also for exploring ALL the wonders of life, (and not just those concerned with blending the DNA), well, mom would be much more receptive to having her young man spend time with you. You see, mom cares about DNA too....she cares about her grandchildren.........his children....the children that he will someday have with a young woman of high standards and of good quality, those things which you have made very clear are of no value to you. Oh, there are other sets of DNA out there that you will get the Īhotsā for......there always will be. Itās just that like tends to attract like..........Youāre young yet and you still have a chance to take a look at your value system. Instead of devaluing what you do not wish to pursue, how about taking a look at where you want to be when youāre his momās age.....what kind of a young woman do you want YOUR son to spend time with? - Annabelle