Q - Dear Annabelle, My best friend has had a tremendous amount of pitfalls and has been hurt several times. He finally opened up to me and told me how he really looks at life. He confessed that he really does not care about anything or anyone. But he is so afraid for me to know the real him because he thinks I will walk away. He also thinks that if I know the real him I will use it to hurt him. But you see, he thinks he can bring up my past and say what he wants about it because he does not care about anything. Yet, after everything, he still listens and we still go out and continue to be friends. He often tells me that I am all he has, but that he really doesn't care. If he doesn't care why does he bother? He tells me he wants to have a relationship with me, but there are certain things that I do that he can't handle, when he does the same things also. I am not perfect so I don't judge him and I have a hard time talking to him. Every time I try to tell him about how I feel about him and the way he treats me, he takes it as if I don't want to be there for him anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. I care and love for him so much, but it doesn't seem to be enough. What should I do? A - Dear Marissa, At 18, youāve just seen too many movies and read too many romance novels. (Darn!) Now, repeat after Annabelle....äI am NOT put on this earth to rescue wing-shot birdsä........(trust me on this one). ĪVictimsā will ALWAYS find Īrescuersā. It has to be a match or one or the other has to give up the game and grow up. (There, now you know.) Marissa. take a GOOD look at yourself in the mirror....you are NOT here to try to make some guys life happier...just yet. You ARE here to develop your self into a wonderful young lady so that HEALTHY young men will want to join you and THEN you can make each OTHERāS life better. (Are you beginning to see the difference?) Let this guy sigh all over someone else. YOU get back to your course of self improvement so you donāt draw victim-types to you. EACH of us is solely responsible for and to ourselves to make ourselves into socially appealing, (and socially responsible), individuals. That means, growing ourselves into healthy INTER dependent people. that is very different from being a DE pendant person! Trust me, this guy has structured his life just the way it IS. He needs some time with a good psychologist, but for YOU to play Īnurse girlā is a really baaaad idea. And donāt EVER allow anyone to Īthrow your past up to youā. (Of course, it would be a VERY good idea not to have the kind of Īpastā....especially at YOUR age..where that sort of thing can be done!) Now get out there and find yourself a better class of guy! (Remember, this requires a little reworking on YOUR part). Oh, and by the way, NO, Īlove cannot overcome hateā.........this guy hates himself. He needs (professional) help. - Annabelle