Q - Dear Annabelle, Perhaps a seemingly meager story, but nonetheless, this dilemma is really starting to tear away at me - I'd really appreciate any advice. Just over 3 weeks ago, I went for a quick gallivant around Europe and Britain. The day before I left, I got some ludicrously positive signs from a girl whom *(I thought)* was my ultimate. Anyway, during my romp around England, I stayed with one of my mothers' old school friends. The friend had a daughter, and the rest is perhaps self explanatory she is, judged by both my mind and heart, unanimously divine. In a way that's GOTTA be unhealthy for a 17 year old guy *:-)* it's far beyond anything to do with lust. A harsh thud of reality is introduced when I remember that I live in Australia, she lives in pommie-land. I only stayed with her family for 2 days, and she was in school/had exams while I was there, which meant I only spent about 5 hours with her. ((Nothing overly intimate happened)) I think she's somewhere between reasonably interested and mutually obsessed about me as well, but it was difficult to decipher her feelings in any more detail than that. Because of the (usually) contradicting attributes I value in girls, I really don't think I'll get another opportunity like this one. ...Sorry - I'm rambling. ...In a nutshell, I'm lost as for what to do. I can probably get to Britain in September, and, with any luck, stamp some clarity into both of our minds about the situation. Until then, I'm in a dumbfounded-daze. To put it very passively, I'm not really a great fan of the concept of online relationships, but would really appreciate if you could answer these questions. - (Not regarding OL relationships) Any general advice? - Is an online relationship solely flirting via e-mail? Is there anything else? - Apologies if this sounds offensive, but I've always classed OL relationships as something for the, well, socially dead. Pardon the boast, but I usually have no problems getting the girls I like, and I assume she has no problems in the guy department. Do you think an OL relationship could actually work, at least without either of us getting overly bored? - Do you think I should a.) try the "Online Relationship" strategy b.) wait until I can get over there c.) just go for the much more convenient, very beautiful (although not quite as inspiring...still great) other? Thanks once again, and brilliant site idea very admirable. With hope, confusion, frustration, desperation, spasmodic insanity and regards, A - Dear JB, You bring back fond memories of hunkmuffins flying halfway Îround the world to arrive at my front door bearing wine and flowers or of having guys just fall onto the hood of my car to get me to stop......(such fun)....such wonderful silliness! Now, that youâre 17 is a perfectly wonderful age to get involved in all of this romantic folderol. Heck, if you donât do it now where will all YOUR wonderful and silly memories come from? Does this sort of thing actually work out? No, not usually. Keep in mind that, at 17, youâre not suited for much of anything besides running about with a head of steam and getting yourself into all manner of situations.....some of which, (most, I hope), youâll actually live through....and learn from. 17 is when you get to be really enthusiastic and wide-eyed and all adventurously romantic..........the whole world is full of the most wonderful possibilities.........and all of them are just waiting to be discovered by YOU. Now, the foregoing is ALWAYS going to be true....the world is ALWAYS full of wonderful possibilities...the DIFFERENCE will be........YOU.......and how YOU perceive things through the filter of your own experiences. Having an online romance is certainly doable. Your cultures are not that dissimilar, however, keep in mind that, at 17, VERY few young people are stable enough to form a lasting relationship.......and, by Îlastingâ I mean a relationship leading to actual marriage, which will then last 60+ years. THAT takes a maturity that wonât really be understood by you, (and/or whomever Îherâ is) until youâre about 25+. (Yes, I KNOW that sounds like Îforeverâ.) Youâve heard the saying ÎA bird in the hand is worth two in the bushâ........roughly translated, that means that your home-grown lady is, (probably), the better bet. Remember, youâre ONLY 17! What SEEMS so very important and urgent NOW will seem ENTIRELY different by the time youâre 25. (You should SEE the number of letters I get from Îbored, old marriedsâ.......who are just TURNING 25.) Youâve also heard it said not to Îrushâ growing up......(.take THAT advice very very seriously. ) There is MUCH to learn at every stage along the way and, where you are right now is very important. From now until youâre in your mid-20âs your education, (not just your schooling, but what you learn about yourself and about others around you and out in the world), is of incredible importance. Having a Îsteadyâ girlfriend is nice...itâs always a warm, cozy feeling to feel Îconnectedâ, but if you Îattachâ to the lady far away, that will take your attention away from your immediate surroundings........and they sound tempting as well. Enjoy everything and everyone. You sound very bright...... and it also sounds as if you may be a young man of intelligence, thoughtfulness, and integrity as well....those are very important components for developing into a Îrealâ man. Much good luck to you.........have fun.........and do enjoy this time of your life! - Annabelle