Q - Dear Annabelle, I'm dating a man with a 2 year old little girl. We've been together for 3 months. At the beginning of our relationship, it frightened me that I couldnāt find any fault in him. It was like he was perfect in every way. Now I feel as he was putting on an act. I find heās late (a lot) for anything, and heās kind of bossy, treating me like he does his daughter sometimes. On Christmas, the "deadbeat" mother of his child had the child for 4 hours in the evening, and he had to go about 30 miles to get her. I was upset because I thought we would have the evening to ourselves. He left at 8:30. At around 10:30 I was worried, called his cell and it was off, called his mother to see if he'd arrived to drop off his daughter yet, and she said Īnoā, then paged him with a 911 first with my number, then with his motherās number. A little back ground, I hate his ex. She still wants him, and she tries everything in her power to get him. She is unaware of our relationship. If she knew, she would have the power to take his daughter away from him. Anyways, before he left, I told him specifically not to sit and talk to her, not to let her argue him into being late getting back, or there would be serious penalties, it was Christmas, come on! ....(besides the fact that I didn't see him most of the day because he was at the parentās house with family and I wasnāt there). He finally arrived at my house at a whopping 1:30 in the morning, no call, nothing. I was furious... then I was thinking, I've been hurt in the past.. I was engaged to a man who I trusted because he always thought I would cheat on him before he would ever dream of cheating on me. I believed him... (duh!!) He got the next door neighbor pregnant. there went all the trust for anyone, because he was, out of anyone else, the least likely to cheat... so my current boyfriend is VERY jealous, VERY accusing, and I'm thinking ... what in the SAM HELL could he have been doing for 5 hours, with a girl he used to be in love with, that he had a kid with, (a kid he treasures more than life), on one of the most romantic evenings of the year... So his excuse: He had to pick up presents for his family that were at my house from my apartment, (we were at my moms house at the time), go to his ex's fathers house to pick her and his daughter up, got caught up in helping his sister with her new computer, took her home, helped her carry up presents to her apartment, then she tried to kiss him under her mistletoe and he pushed her away, she got in a huge argument with him, accusing him of having a girlfriend and other things, (heās working on getting custody so she canāt pull him around like that), and then he goes over to his momās house and then INSTEAD OF DROPPING HER OFF he brings her home to me at 1:30 in the morning. NEVER called. even after I paged, even after he knew it was really late. I'll never know, nor is there any way I could ever find out, if he did cheat on me. I'll always wonder in my heart if he did... What do you think I should do about it? A - Dear Lyssa, What do I think you should DO about it? Is this a serious question? What YOU should DO is let this young man be the best father to his daughter that he can be and, if that means getting back together with the mommy person, then, so be it. Just from your letter I can tell that you have so little experience in the world ....(and, how could it be otherwise, youāre 20),........ that you lack all perspective except your own. Lyssa, the world of relationships isnāt really a soap opera or an episode of the Jerry Springer Show. People who create babies and then are serious about being the childās parent are to be commended, not excoriated.......and, like it or not, BOTH parents are expected to be involved.....at LEAST for the first 18 years. Among other things that would be in everyoneās best interests, would be for YOU to find another fellow...preferably one with no other entanglements, and certainly no other responsibilities, ........who can dance attendance on you the way that you demand. You really donāt realize how petulant and immature you sound....again, not an unexpected thing from a self centered 20 year old. One day you may have a different viewpoint and see things differently, however, right now, when YOU and what YOU want are the most important things in YOUR world....do everyone in this scenario, (especially the child), a favor and bow out. Did he cheat on you? Donāt even go there. - Annabelle