Q - Dear Annabelle, I've been "friends" with this guy for a while. We have everything in common and share this mutual understanding about all aspects of life. He treats me like I'm special, not like other girls. The problem is, he is four years older than me and would lose his job if we became romantically involved. When he talks to other people he tells them we are just friends. We've never discussed the nature of our relationship, but I have very strong feelings for him. Does he feel the same about me, and is trying to cover up so he can keep his job? How should I treat our relationship? A - Dear Laura, At 16 it must feel very nice to have a 20 year old interested in you, however, the fact remains that, at 20, he is developmentally ahead of you and, that he could lose his job if he were romantically interested in you, is reason enough to just keep the friendship a friendship. ĪRomanceā is not all that romantic when you introduce real-time real-life problems into it. Most likely, he appreciates your friendship and would like to keep it on that level. You need to know that any20 year old who would be romantically interested in a 16 year old would, most likely, be developmentally delayed. This kind of thing, Īlifeās appropriate stagesā, is very important. (When youāre about 25, youāll more clearly understand what Iām talking about here.) Your best shot would be to keep your close friendships with guys and girls in your own age group......you have much to learn and you donāt want to miss any of the truly important stuff. Adolescent development isnāt like a class where you can do Īmakeup workā later. You have to do the Īlessonsā in the order that theyāre presented. You donāt get to Īgo backā and pick up a dropped stitch.......I know youād like to believe that something can come of this....however, a four year age difference is more easily handled at 26 than at 16. - Annabelle