Q - Dear Annabelle, Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up about four months ago.we have a one year old daughter together.i live with his family but he stays on campus at school.i tried to work things out with him but he seems not to know what he wants to do.he told me that he's not messing around with anyone and he doesn't want me to mess around either.i want him back,but it's taking too long for him to decide what he wants to do.i don't know what he's up to.can you help me with this situation? A - Dear Cindy, Having a boyfriend with whom you have broken up, at 18, is perfectly age-appropriate, have a baby under those circumstances, is not.......but, here you are, having to deal with grownup responsibilities when youād rather be out partying and doing other things. Your ex boyfriend doesnāt know what he wants to do because heās 18, ....however what he NEEDS to do is be a responsible father to the infant and a husband to you. The results of having intercourse arenāt always happy memories of a good time with no concomitant responsibilities, and teenagers sometimes forget that sex has been shown to be the #1 cause of babies......who need real mommies and daddies......and not immature parents unable or unwilling to Ībe thereā in a parental capacity to raise the resulting offspring to their own mature adulthood. Now what? I donāt know. .........Itās wonderful that his parents are willing to support you and help with their grandchild.....a blessing for the baby, really, but, as to whatās to become of the incipient Īfamily unitā is anyoneās guess. The father may come to his senses and Īdo the right thingā.......which means actually BEING and man and a good father and, ideally, husband, and you would be a wonderful and loving mother to the child and get your education at home while preparing to have a career only during the hours that the child is in school.....(which wouldnāt be until he, or sheās at least five). Both you and the father Ījumped aheadā ahead several squares in life and itās in the babyās best interests for BOTH of you to attend to your parental responsibilities. Did you know that in the 1800ās people routinly forewent their Īneeds and wantsā and formed young families? It can be done....it simply takes having the intestinal fortitude, (that means the Īgutsā) to do what is right. I donāt know if this is of any help to you........I do know that you know what the Īrightā thing to do is. You see, you donāt come first anymore....you gave up that option when you put yourself in a position to become pregnant. - Annabelle