Q - Dear Annabelle, I know I seem young but I have a question.I have been going out with a girl for almost two weeks. I asked her out a ways earlier and she said Īnoā because she wanted to get to know me a little better and she liked someone else. Well a couple of days passed and I was wondering who she liked so I found out. A day later she wanted to go out with me and said she didn't really like that last guy. Well I think she still likes that last guy, because she talks about him everyday and all this stuff. And I think she took pity on me and said she would go out with me because she felt bad. She says I just grew on her but I'm not sure. I really like her and feel bad for doubting her but I don't know what I should do because I don't want to be hurt really bad. A - Dear Tayn, Thereās an old saying that is applies to football games and to life. ĪSome you win, and some you lose, but you gotta suit up for Īem all.ā Now, if youāre old enough to Īenter the listsā in the dating arena, (and, actually at 14, you shouldnāt be single dating....social groups or church groups are ok), then youāre going to learn that the number one rule of THIS particular game is that, if youāre going to play, youāre going to get hurt. (Thereās no way around that one.) Now, since youāre too young, by a good 10+ years, of selecting a female to marry, it would be in your best interests to look at all of this for the next 8-10 years as Īpracticeā ......and donāt take it too seriously. The adolescent years are rife with change, and everything is happening so fast that young people canāt even count on their OWN emotions, much less anyone else's. Look, just be friends with this girl...that will last you ever so much longer than racing your motor and attaching to her. Yes, I KNOW you are getting Īloveā feelings. They have to start sometime, and youāve just had your hormones kick in so, while YOU think itās Īoff to the racesā, your mind is suffering a case of mental whiplash......(I mean, it wasnāt too long ago that girls were yukky and now youāre trying to figure how to steal a kiss!). Itās fun for young people to feel attached to another person..it feels Īsaferā and you feel less obvious in what has become a rather odd world. Your body has begun acting strangely and doing really peculiar things ......and just when you could really USE the help of your folks, theyāve become dorky. Go figure! Anyway, donāt bet the farm on any one girl for many years yet. Youāre an adolescent and that means itās time to learn about lots of different people in many different situations...but mostly itās time to begin to construct the Īyouā that is most comfortable and that you can take with you into the adult world. Attend to your studies, (thatās very important.) Grownup girls are attracted to guys who can catch the biggest beasts .....like Jaguars,and Mercedes and BMWās, or, in your part of the world, the biggest SUV you can find, .....and, in order to do that, you need to get a really good education so you can get a really good job and invest your earnings wisely. That, alone, will allow you to have your pick of the ladies you want when it IS time to select a mate. Remember the studying that you do now will pay off at a time when you really NEED it to. So, spend time with your friends, just remember that you are grooming YOURSELF for adulthood...so, enjoy the banter with your friends, but donāt take your eye of what your JOB is at 14.......and 15 and every year hereafter. Your JOB is to catch YOUR OWN attention to build, for yourself and your future family, a strong base in what is proving to be an increasingly interesting world. Good luck, have fun, and..remember to laugh. - Annabelle