Q - Dear Annabelle, I'm 13, and I have been friends with this girl since I was in first grade. We have had some really fun times together. Recently, some of my friends have been putting pressure on me to ask her out. I really do love her, but I'm not so sure that she loves me. I also don't know if she's ready or not to start dating. How do I show that I love her, without breaking our friendship? A - Dear John, Well, if I may, without sounding like an old fuddy duddy, (or even if I do), singles dating before 15 or 16 isnât a good idea.....I wonât go into the details, but it isnât. Now, having said that, dating within your church group IS a good idea and that can solve your problem If you and your friend attend the same church, thatâs an easy solution. If she attends church and you donât, ask if you can go to her church with her. Hint: going to church with a girl is ALWAYS a good idea...girls LIKE guys who go to church with them. Now if you go to church and she doesnât ask her to go to the youth group with you. If NEITHER of you go to church....this is a really good time to start. Church youth groups provide an outlet for, and supervision of, all the energy that youâre beginning to feel in the direction of girls. Just as learning to read, riding a bike, or when you learn to drive a car, there are certain formats and etiquette and skills to learn, Îgirlsâ fall under that same umbrella of practice, practice, practice, and, when you learn in a supervised format youâre much less likely to behave in an inappropriate way....which is what you just asked me how to do. Now, that she has been a friend since first grade is a good thing...I still have my friends from that age too....only now theyâre getting grey hair and wrinkles and....gosh they look different! Anyway, when you say you âloveâ her youâre talking about a really sweet kind of feeling of really close friendship. This feeling that youâre having is akin to the first wonderful snowflakes that fall.........just ahead of a ferocious blizzard. Now, just as you have to have special skills to know how to survive in a blizzard, your dating years require socialization skills that group dating can provide. Youâll learn how to Îbeâ with other people....and with yourself under very happy, and also, very difficult situations. Youâre entering into what can be an emotionally wrenching as well as an emotionally exhilarating time of your life. If you want to protect your friend, as well as yourself, again, group dating is a good idea. Now, for the very immediate future. Ask your parents if you may ask your friend over for dinner...and YOU do some of the cooking. After dinner YOU.and she, can clean up the dishes or go into the kitchen and whip up a batch of fudge or cookies. Cooking together is a very BIG guy-girl thing. It allows you to be talking together while doing another activity that takes some of the awkwardness off being together. Maybe you can go to her house and you AND she can wash her dadâs car. That ought to be good for enough$$ to hit the local ice cream parlor. Ask her to study with you at the library...and then, really study. (You get the idea.) Girls like guys who are 'in charge' and who make them feel....protected. Anyway, read all the other adolescent letters..(I mean the ones where the kids have their heads screwed on straight....not the ones where their brains fell out along with their values). Have fun..youâll do fine. Oh, and remember...girls love the occasional flower. (So do their moms). - Annabelle