Q - Dear Annabelle, I have looked over your advice columns and I think you give excellent advice. Of course, I have a problem. I am a 14 year old girl who likes this guy a lot. He's in my grade and 15 years old. I've known him since 7th grade and now we are in 9th. We were never ever a couple but he used to write very sweet letters to me, ending them in "Love," "Love Always," "Love for Eternity," and things like that. That was last year. Towards the end of the year, his letters grew longer but suddenly shortened. Summer vacation happened and we exchanged numbers. I called him both times we talked but he never called me. When we did talk it was for about an hour each time. I changed over the summer. I lost a good amount of weight AND developed a figure at the same time. Also, I got contacs to replace my glasses, styled my hair differently, and gained confidence. I look pretty decent now. Even on the pretty side. School starts again and he started writing again. He initiated the writing like last time. That ended because he accidentally gave me another letter that was meant for another girl confessing he liked her since 7th grade. He felt horrible and asked me for forgiveness "hoping to God" we could still be friends. Which is what we were all along, nothing more though he knew I wanted it to be more and that's why he was so sorry about the mix up. I softened and forgave him but after that his letters got less and less until they finally ceased. I didn't say anything about it. That was months ago. Even after all that he was still sweet to me for a while but then for a very long time he almost completely ignored me. Then kind of recently he began being nice to me again. I was nice to him back like always. He started hanging an awful lot around this one girl and they grew very close. So close, I thought they were going out. I found myself jealous but then found out they weren't. Still, I was jealous. Then there was this other girl I thought he was going out with but it turns out that wasn't true either. The eventually kind of stopped talking to each other. Maybe he does that to other girls sometimes but as far as I know it has only been with us three. The second girl he was very close to he is getting close to again. This time they are best friends but the way she looks at him sometimes I wonder if there is more. Even after all this he still can't seem to take his eyes off me at times and is concerned about me when I am sad or mad. He's told me he thinks I'm really cool and once last year he said I was pretty. Other than that though, he seems to care about me but from far away. It's the opposite with the second girl though, he doesn't look at her when he's far away but when he is close to her they talk and talk. I guess that means they are only friends. Well, my problem is I am not sure if he likes me or the other girl or if I'm just eye candy or what! I want to get to know him AGAIN better but I am not sure how he'd feel about that. I like him still in THAT way but I am pretty sure he doesn't like me in the same way.So I want to be friends at the least. I feel some kind of connection between us and I know that sounds retarded but I am not kidding myself nor am I saying that just because I like him. I just want to know if I it would be OK to put myself into his life again and if it is HOW should I do it? I think the cool things between us ceased because I was awkward then but I have changed and want to start over and stay on the right track. I want to be subtle but not to scare him. I don't know if I scared him before, I really don't think I did. I really care about him but I don't want him to think it's only for a romantic reason I'm into him. We have a few things in common and I could talk to him about it but I feel so scared that I'll mess up again. Any flirting techniques I could try? I'm not sure if he stopped writing because he lost interest and I bored him of if it's because he likes a certain type of girl. The other girl is a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty who has that California look while I'm a dark, exotic beauty that has a sort of an islander girl look. If you have ANY advice at all please help me. I'd appreciate it very much. Last time I wrote to one of these things, I never received anything and that was 3 times! If you have gotten this far in this longass letter then thank you a million times!! : ) A - Dear Very Loving Girl, Let's see, digging (VERY) deeply into my memories, I can recall being 15 and feeling as you do about a guy.......it's fun ......and awful, at the same time......and I think I've NEVER forgiven, (well, almost never), one of my, I thought, 'girlfriends' for making a play for my special guy. (See how 15 can be?) Anyway, you're going through a very strange time in your life, not unlike Alice did in Wonderland, .......so you donāt want to be making any permanent decisions here. Now, in addition to your other newfound attributes, how are you at baking cookies? Thereās one thing you want to know about teenage boys....they have Īhollow legsā and eat constantly. A well baked chocolate chip cookie can do wonders. They also like girls who smile and seem happy..mainly because most of them are uncertain as to how to deal with ALL the changes THEY are going through.. (How would you like to have your VOICE change too?) While you canāt really influence which Ītypeā of girl your friend is attracted to, (thatās sort of set in infancy), you can develop such a scintillating personality that Ītypesā become irrelevant. This will stand you in good stead, not just now, but all of your life. Now, in all probability, this is not the guy youāre going to marry, so view all of the fellows for the next 10 or so years as Īpracticeā and remember, the people you draw TO you are reflections OF you......you are in a very plastic state and you can work to cleverly create a wonderful YOU. Have fun, try not to take the process too seriously (ha!), and youāll emerge from the chrysalis and into the butterfly stage, (probably), just fine. Good luck, and remember to smile.....at everyone, and, most specifically at yourself. - Annabelle Q - Dear Annabelle, Thank you very much for the advice. It has helped me to think about things and I think I know how I am going to go about things. Keep up the good work and giving your wonderful advice out. I'm sure you've helped many and will help many more. : ) Thank you once again. For getting my brain thinking.