Q - Dear Annabelle, There's this woman. She's been a friend of the family for as long as I can remember. (She worked with my mom originally.) We've always been friends and I'm committed to her on that level. The issue is, that for about the last 3 years, my feelings for her have slowly evolved beyond that. On top of that we are a very conservative family. She is married and has a son. I wouldn't ever do anything to cause her or anyone else for that matter pain. However, I would like to be with her more than anything. How do I win her affection? A - Dear Me, Outside of the fact that, at your age, having a Īsecond momā is not unusual, do I detect that youāre asking a question about a potential lesbian relationship? Letās talk about Īfeelingsā for just a minute..ok? Now, Īfeelingsā are just that, feelings...and do not require, nor are they necessarily followed by, action. (And you would be amazed at how many people evidently do not know that!) Well, now you do. If, in fact, you believe that you can be attracted to guys....that would be a really good option to pick....thatās a much easier road in this world. If, however, you are just grossed out at the thought, then I recommend that you explore this with a like minded group AND get some therapy to explore what this will mean to you...and to your conservative parents. Now, as I said, if you are lesbian, and think kissing a guy is yukky, (technical term), then you should know that, for most women, kissing a WOMAN is yukky. If you respect your friend. leave her alone....you could save yourself......and her.....and your family a LOT of embarrassment. See if you can find a local chapter of P.F.L.A.G, (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), and explore more of what you are thinking. Life is long....no need to rush into a possibly precipitous decision. - Annabelle