Q - Dear Annabelle, There is a girl at my work who I've known for over two months now. When I first met her I thought she was cute but I didn't really think much of it. We started talking and I gradually found her more attractive and I enjoy her company. Well, she's not very open but she spoke to me more than anyone and I really made an effort to ask about her and just to try to get inside her head, which, believe me, was a very difficult task. It had gotten to the point where she started to seek me out almost as often as I was seeking her out. I was really starting to develop feelings for this girl even though there were plenty of reasons for me to not even think about it, (biggest reasons being that we were opposites in a lot of areas), she sometimes can be vague, aloof, and unwittingly self centered. Needless to say I found myself more attracted to this girl who, by this time, I had built up to be someone she's not. I couldn't get a firm grasp on whether she was attracted to me but I had yet to really let her know although I did nice things for her and complimented her often. I was contemplating asking her out and letting her know that I liked her. I had two choices: continue to be friends and ask her out in that vein, or let her know that I was attracted to her and ask her out for real. Well, I chose the latter. We went out to lunch one day and I told her that I was attracted to her and that I'd like to take her out sometime but, (mistake!), I would be more than happy being her friend, (which was partly true). She said that right now she would rather be friends and that her life is too complicated to be seeing anyone. Hindsight being 20/20 I could have said that I just wanted to go out to get to know her better, but I didn't. Instead I asked her what she meant by "right now" and she said that she could see us going out, because we got along so well, but that, if I knew what was going on in her life, and so on. I was pretty happy to have rid myself of this problem until the next day when things seemed a bit awkward and today as well in which I just went home early because I was a bit ill, but also because I just feel so weird now. I really want to have some closure with this and I'm driving myself crazy. Should I try to ask more about her and be a better friend even though I'm the one who could use the attention? Or should I just start to distance myself from her so that I don't hurt myself anymore? I'm just really lonely and even though this wasn't the perfect situation I thought we could at least go out and have fun. Is it too late for that? A - Dear Richard, Sometimes entire relationships take place in oneās head and youāve done just that. Hey, donāt feel weird about it, if this sort of thing werenāt so common, how would I know that it is? Girls, interestingly enough, seem to respond well to a young man telling them HOW the relationship is going to be...and not asking them if having a relationship is ok with them. (This is something youāre probably going to have to practice a bit.) Watch how other fellows whom you think are successful act, or you could even check out the local bookstore for ideas on relationship skills. There are some pretty good ones out there now. At 19 you have time on your side. Happy practicing! - Annabelle