Q - Dear Annabelle, I got a boyfriend, he's 2 years older than me, unfortunately he lives 30 minutes away from my house. He's a very sweet guy, to stay in touch he sends me e-mails and calls me, sometimes I'm the one who calls, we go out once in awhile, watch a movie or bowling, and we sees each other if there's a gatherings and birthdays. All of a sudden he just stopped calling me, he sends e-mails though, do you think something is going on with him? Is he having new interest or is he just too busy at school and at work? I hope you can answer my question, Thanks in advance A - Dear Lorie, You donāt say how old you are, so Iām assuming youāre under 20. The time/distance alone would have caused a problem sooner or later. When a guy is interested, the interest level generally increases, not decreases over a period of time, so you pretty much have your answer. Now, the world is full of wonderful guys and Iām sure you have plans to attend to your education and to become a thoroughly charming young woman with a scintillating personality. Because you will have developed yourself into such a delight, you wonāt be needing to worry about one guy. In fact, because you HAVE developed yourself so nicely, by the time he notices heās neglected you, it will be far too late..there will be too many other, (higher), quality fellows vying for your attention. (Thatās the payoff, by the way, for all of the hard work you put in to making yourself a stellar young woman). - Annabelle Q - Dear Annabelle, Thank you very much for your response. Well, Iām 16 and heās 18. Iām having problems about this. Weāve been going out for 5 months and this all started in a homecoming night. He confessed that he liked me, but, then, as I told you, our communications is getting less and less. I wrote him an email and asked whatās going on and asked him if I'm still Īthe oneā. Then he answered my email saying that he was Īthinkingā about our relationship. We only see each other during parties and he said itās not enough for him. He said that the feelings that he had for me at the homecoming night are slowly fading because, when we see each other I hardly show that I miss him. (Thereās a reason). Our relationship is not legal, but then, I finally told my parents about him and they were cool with that so starting last Saturday we can finally see each other every weekend because of basketball practice and this situation came up. I donāt know what to do. I explained it to him and now Iām waiting for his email. Hoping for your advice. Again, thanks..... A - Dear Lorie, If I understand you correctly, youāre having a sexual relationship with this fellow and itās ok with your parents??? Part of me wants to ask if youāre out of your mind, (because youāre being used), and part of me wants to warn you that you are going to become so emotionally attached to this fellow that you are cruising for an enormous heartbreak and a distortion of what is IS that youāre supposed to be doing doing these years. Teenagers who donāt have a passion for their studies, and their future lives and careers, often begin sexual relationships in an effort to feel Īconnectedā..then they call it Īloveā. Lorie, donāt DO this to yourself....you are distorting your purpose in the world..and shortchanging yourself. Look, if this guy WANTED you in his life, HE would be the one writing to me. Donāt ever ask a guy if youāre Īthe oneā...if heās gettin' you in the hay thereās no WAY heāll be honest with you. At his age ALL he thinks about is sex and there you are, ......little Miss Īcome and get itā. Go back and read my first letter...you are putting yourself in a serious Īone-downā position. What would you tell YOUR daughter? .....donāt you deserve better or is taking what you can get the best you can do? C'mon, Lorie.....youāre better than this..arenāt you? (And, if your answer to that is Īnoā, then you and I really DO need to talk!) - Annabelle Q - Dear Annabelle, Just clearing this up. Nope, Iām not having a sexual relationship. Iām young, but not stupid. Well, I understand if you misunderstood me. Thatās ok. So, now, what should I do, ....coz e said Īwhen we see each other,I donāt show him that I miss himā? A - Dear Lorie, Youād have to ask him what he means, but I will tell you that it sounds manipulative. Itās not YOUR job to provide his sense of well-being..heās trying to get you to jump through a hoop. I still say that, if a guy is interested in you, heāll show it and that your time would be better spent on someone else who treats you with more interest and more respect. (It is HE who should be demonstrating to YOU what you mean to him.) In a way, heās doing that, isnāt he? You get to decide here...reread the other letters. - Annabelle