Q - Dear Annabelle, I broke up with my boyfriend almost a month ago. We went through the ordeal of me becoming pregnant, and having an abortion. Throughout, he was rude, condescending, and downright hateful in the things he said to me. I got fed up, and broke up with him. Immediately after, he kept calling me, and writing me letters. My dad told him to stop calling, and he did, but I got a couple more letters from him. Now, he doesn't do any of that, but every time I go to my friend's house, (where I'm accepted as part of the family), he's there, and he always tries to talk to me, and he thinks I still love him. He's friends with my friend's parents, which makes it harder to completely avoid him. My dad has said he'd charge my ex with harrassment if he keeps up his stupid tricks, and I have no problem with that. But the thing is, is he harassing me anymore? And how do I know when/if the harrassment starts again? A - Dear Kristin, Getting involved with legalities can be problematic, so the best thing to do is to learn to set good boundaries for yourself...and for him. Since the strongest kind of reinforcement is Īintermittent reinforcementā..which is what heās getting anytime you respond to anything he does, the best way for you to deal with this is to avoid him entirely. If that means having an agreement with your friend that you will be at their house only in his absence, then do that. I know that itās tempting to have things more dramatic but that serves no good purpose. Life is long and this will pass.....donāt make a big production out of absenting yourself. Just do it. - Annabelle