Q - Dear Annabelle, Well, I am in 8th grade. I like a girl in 7th grade. There is a dance Friday. I donāt know her, but I like her. I am not good at going up and talking to her so that really isnāt an option. What should I do ??? A - Dear Brendan, .........and, when youāre dancing with her, are you going to talk with her then? OK, letās go back a couple of steps. Thereās an old saying, ćSome of them you win, some of them you lose, but you gotta suit up for them allä........translated that means you MAY get shot down, ......(happens to everyone sometimes), but IF you can see this as a Numbers game youāll just get out there and........ASK.........in plain English, while looking the young lady in the eye. It will go something like this: ćMary, thereās a dance on Friday and itād sure be more fun if youād go with me........we can get some pizza after, if you likeä. If she says, ćyesä, then you have to deal with that.......you have a DATE! If she says, ćNoä, then you thank her for hearing your offer, (yes, you do, trust me here), as in ćOK, perhaps another time, Iām sure youāll be the prettiest girl there!ä (This is known as Īpolitickingā.....itās a very good skill to learn.) You see, in all aspects of life, we win AND lose, so, when we lose, if the person with whom weāre dealing sees that losing doesnāt destroy us, and that we can still wish them well, we get, what are called Īpointsā in their minds, and they think that, perhaps at another time weāll have another opportunity to reach our goal and theyād be willing to help us reach it. (Of ALL the stuff youāve learned today, THAT was a Ībiggieā, by the way.) Itās something YOU know and very few other kids ........if any, do........that information, alone, will put you ahead of the game. It shows Īthe worldā that you are, in fact, a Īserious contenderā and that, even if it didnāt happen THIS time, you INTEND to win in the end, honorably always, and with good character in integrity........(smiling is allowed, even encouraged). Now, Iām going to send the H.E.L.P. formula for you to acquaint your self with. Memorize its elements, once you get the Īhangā of conversation, youāll find that itās a wonderful skill to have and the girls will begin to seek YOU out. **H.E.L.P** ĪHā Ask her about her hobbies, what she does for fun, you know, stuff like that. ĪEā Ask her about her education...school......what classes she likes/doesnāt like,... that sort of thing. Help her with a difficult class or ask her to help YOU! (Strangely enough, you can make friends by asking someone to help you with something). ĪLā Ask her about her Īlifestyleā..........what she likes to do when she just Īhangs outā with friends and stuff. Does she go to church or synagogue? ĪPā Ask her about her plans for the future, and such. What would she like to do when she grows up, does she have a long list or a short list of things-to-do in life? (By the way, the most desirable people have a real ENTHUSIASM for life.......and young MEN who are excited about all the wonderful things theyāre going to do in the world are....get this.......REALLY desirable to young women ; ) Good luck...have fun and, remember, if she does go with you to the dance, meet her parents and thank THEM for allowing her to attend the dance with you. Oh, and one more thing, you do not EVER talk with your friends about any young lady with whom you are involved. Young gentlemen of good character simply do not jeopardize a young ladies reputation by speaking of them in a personal way. Your business is just that, YOUR business. - Annabelle