Q - Dear Annabelle, A few weeks ago I started having sex with my boyfriend. It was my first sexual relationship with a guy. Well we've had sex about 10 times but I haven't orgasmed any time. Once or twice I felt like it was coming on but he would orgasm or it would stop feeling so good. Its never been AMAZING like everyone says. We love each other and talk about everything, especially our sexual relationship and we are both concerned why I haven't orgasmed. Its stressing him out, and we hope I'm not one of those women that never orgasm. We try different positions, not THAT different, and tell each other what we like. He is caring and its not as if there's no foreplay, maybe there could be more. I'm not sure. We have used lubricant a few times not that I wasn't wet at all, but not quite wet enough, that was toward the end of my period, so do u think that had something do with it?? Id really appreciate your help, even if u could direct to some info about orgasms and stuff. thanks. A - Dear Louise, Teenagers having sex......even at 16 going on 17, is akin to goslings trying to fly. Youāve got the body parts, just not the mental maturity to understand that, just because you CAN, doesnāt mean you should. SEX, the kind of sex youāre looking for, is a result of maturity. Having a sexual relationship at 16, (even though youāre almost 17), indicates that you are unclear on how your life is developing. Youāve seen movies, TV, and magazines and it seems theyāre all about SEX. What they leave out, because it isnāt nearly as interesting, is that good sex is between mature people. (One thing I can tell you is that your friends are lying).....very few teens are willing to just say, thatās IT? You see, teenagers who have a real life are, at this stage, immersed in their passions for growing, learning and developing, and not in getting laid. Teens who jump the gun, as it were, and get involved sexually, decide theyāre Īin loveā and, while they may Īknow the wordsā...they, for sure, havenāt a clue about the Īmusicā. One of the things that all the sexual bombardment didnāt tell you is that thereās so much MORE to sex than just Īdoing itā. One of the reasons you arenāt having orgasms is that your mind KNOWS your mom would have your hide if she know you were playing Ībaby rouletteā.......(and that IS what youāre doing, you know.) ALL forms of birth control fail and, statistically, sexually active couples can count on having about one baby per year. Are you ready for that? Are you ready, when youāre in your mid 30ās, and have other children, to look back at your unplanned pregnancy and how you dealt with it? You REALLY want to enjoy great sex? Well, stop having it now and trivializing what can be a totally glorious experience....with the right person. For what itās worth, the Īrightā person is one who can, will, and does provide a home for both you AND the resulting baby. Of course sex is fun....how else would Mother Nature continue the species? Something else thatās even more fun is having attended to your studies and personal development so, in your late 20ās, you are emotionally and financially ready to attend to your grownup roles. What youāre doing now can create, not only an innocent life, but more emotional mischief than you could possible imagine. As I said, your mind is quite well aware of what your standards SHOULD be....your body is simply following the mindās instructions. Yes, I know, waiting for the right time and place is hard, and your boyfriend is thrilled heās found a girl whoāll put out. Hey, thatās just the way guys are designed. YOU, however, have another emotional makeup entirely...and youāre about, if you havenāt already, to call it Īloveā. Well, this isnāt Īloveā, itās just Īsexā. Any creature can do it.....āloveā is when you put the well being of your partner above your own. Your boyfriend isnāt doing that......and NEITHER of you is putting the well being of a possible Īoopsieā before your desires. When youāre not mature enough to do that.....youāre not mature enough to be sticking a penis in a vagina......thatās known to be the #1 cause of babies. - Annabelle