Q - Dear Annabelle, Well my problem began about 3 months ago when I was around at my best guy friend's house. It was about a week after he had asked me to go with him to the school ball (in the US its called the prom), and I had accepted. Anyway, that day we were just play fighting, (we always do that,it's a trend *L*), when the atmosphere kinda Īchangedā and we started kissing. After that he told me that his brotherās girlfriend had told him that it would be cool for us to get together as, "I had always been there for him", since I am really his closest girlfriend. Since that day we've been intimate a few times, (never sex but almost) Now I'll come to the worst bit, ......he has a girlfriend who goes to another school. This girl is a real bitch, every one else sees it but him. She is really snotty to me for some reason, even though I don't know her, and no one knows about me and him. But I really, really love this guy, and he just keep telling me "he's in two minds", (whatever that means). Now, I know if I make him choose, then he will stay with his girlfriend, but I don't want to lose him..can you PLEASE help?? A - Dear Krissy, Well the Īgood news and the Ībad newsā is the same...youāre 16, (but then, you already know that). The Īplay fightingā scene that you describe with your friend is so classic a situation that there are stories and films using that as a plot device. Thereās a point in our lives where we change from children to, (sort of), grownups, and the things that had just been silly and fun childās play take on sexual overtones......youāve crossed what I call one of lifeās Īcrystal bridgesā.........one of the markers that you Īknowā is there, have been told about, have heard about endlessly and, yet, until youāve crossed one, well, you couldnāt see it though it was right there in front of you. You may be too close as a friend just now and thatās why heās showing interest in the other girl....(darn him!), but thatās the way that goes as well......not fair, but it just Īisā. Now that he sees you as a sexual being, thereās something slightly incestuous about his feelings......the best YOU can do is just be your own sweet enthusiastic self (and hope the other girl vanishes into thin air...........which she wonāt but, oh, well......!) YOU concentrate on you and your education, on developing into the best person YOU can be..........heās seen that already and, if he sees that YOU are becoming even better, i.e., MORE of the person heās always liked, sunny, cheerful AND smart, you have a MUCH better chance than if you try any other way to do this. The worst that will happen is that youāll turn out to be a terrific person and, when your of an age to find a Īkeeperā, some guy will be writing to me to find how to catch YOU! - Annabelle