Q - Dear Annabelle, My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago because he just "didn't feel the same for me". Anyway, we have stayed friends, and that's great. I went through this sort of "stage" where I kept thinking and hoping that we would get back together, but we never did, and I think I'm over that stage now. I would love to get back with him, but I've just stopped hoping. The real problem is that I'm jealous every time I see him talk to another girl. He is a real friendly guy, and is really friendly and open towards everyone, so he is always talking to other girls and stuff. In particular, this one girl, let's call her ĪMariaā. I know that I'm no longer his girlfriend and that he probably wants to move on, but I'm still totally attached to him. Anyway, he insists that Maria is nothing more than a good friend, but the way that he acts around her gives a different impression. He hugs her, and looks for her in a crowd so he can be with her. It's just a bunch of little things, but they matter. I know that I'm just being really jealous, but I really need to get over it and I am having a hard time. I trust him, and I don't want to think that he's lying when he says Maria's "nothing more than a friend", but I can't help thinking that's not true. I hate feeling like this and I really need something to take my mind off of it or something. A - Dear Jesse, You donāt say how old you are, but, from your actions, Iād say youāre fairly young. During adolescence feelings can change fairly rapidly because so much is going on inside each person as they develop and, boys especially, are attracted to girls who are fun to be with and who donāt stress them. (What you are experiencing is actually a form of 'sibling rivalry'). Relationships begin.........and end. And, at the Īendā, the very best that one can do, if one doesnāt want to be considered a Īpest' is to move on graciously and not hang about making others lives difficult. What YOU are doing is making an OTHER the focus of your existence......when, at this stage in your development YOU and your education needs your attention. Ideally, when youāre in your mid-twenties, you will have developed yourself into enough of an individual that, when you DO meet an appropriate Īotherā you will have INTER dependence...not DEpendence, which is what you are describing as your behavior right now. I KNOW itās hard to internalize this stuff......but remember, YOU are in control of your feelings....or should be. To let your FEELINGS run away with YOU is akin to stepping out of a car after youāve turned on the engine, put the car in gear and released the parking brake.....you wouldnāt do that, would you? The world is full of wonderful people to love.......make certain that YOU, Jesse become one of them..........you can, you know! - Annabelle