Q - Dear Annabelle, I've had a crush on a good friend for a while. We started going out, but she seemed to have a problem: I'm 1 year younger. We worked through it okay, (actually, I fell in love with her, a secret I have only recently revealed) but when my best friend (her age) began hitting on her after I introduced him, she dumped me and started going out with him. For some reason, I only blamed myself (aren't I stupid?). He later told me he wasn't as interested in her as he thought, and asked me not to tell. I agreed. Then, she asks me directly the question that bears that answer. I try to protect his privacy. She persists. Weak-willed idiot that I am, I blurt out this information. Of course, she mentions it to him. Now, she likes me (says she does, anyhow), he thinks I tried to screw up his relationship (not regarding that he did that to me), and I'm in a suicidal depression over the whole thing (there are a lot of other reasons not pertaining to this). A - Dear Jason, First thing, calm down........does this hurt and do you feel like a total nerd? Of course it hurts and yes you do. Are you an idiot? No, youâre 15.......hey, this age is KNOWN for pain, remember? The good news is that youâll live, the even better new is that youâll learn.......learn to keep your own counsel, at this age everyone gossips...zip your lip!!........and learn and how to entice girls to want YOU exclusively. (Yes, you will..... Maybe even this one). Now, all is not lost. Remember, everyone is learning here.......she is too. One of the easiest and best ways of making it through these years is to develop an Îas ifâ contingency plan. Think about someone whom you really admire.......someone who you think is a good person of strong character......ok? Now, in your Îquietâ moments, just run scenarios about how THIS person would handle any conceivable situation........and then, in your imagination, role play an Îas ifâ situation. Do this every night for several weeks. (Be sure you get your homework done too). Anyway, in almost any situation that comes up, youâll have an Îas ifâ solution ready and, if youâve chosen your Îas ifâ person well, one day in the not-too-distant future, youâll be able to drop the Îotherâ and will have had enough practice that you can handle situations all by yourself. (Itâs kind of like having a really terrific big brother......one whoâs helpful and kind .......and clever too.) Now, with your friend, the girl, listen to her talk about her feelings about school, other friends, etc....NOT about other guys. If she starts that, well YOU have other things to do. You have to be wonderful, but not a wimp. Donât let her take advantage of you. Develop a good sense of humor. Start working on committees at school that are service-related. All of these things help, not only to get you Îoutside yourselfâ but to help you become a good solid young adult. Girls really like guys like that. They like guys who KNOW what they want to do in the world.........they like guys that make them feel protected. You can do it........you really can.....and you will. - Annabelle