Q - Dear Annabelle, I'm dating a 22 year. old man. We have been dating for three months. As time goes on it seems that we are getting tired of each other sexually and otherwise. He was my first love and I don't want to lose him. What can I do to spice up our relationship? Is it possible that the reason we are having problems is because I am not able to do a lot of things he wants to do because of age limits? A - Sara, You donât say where you are from, but where is your mother in all of this? That you, at 14, are having a sexual relationship with ANY one, much less a 22 year old is very sad. Iâm sure you think that youâre very grown up..........what you are is a cheat......and it is YOU whom you are cheating. (And you DO know, donât you, that he could go to JAIL for his part in this?....or is that part of the Îexcitementâ?) Know what, Sara? Whether or not we, as humans like or believe it, there are Îlife stagesâ through which we all must pass. The activity in which you are engaged in entirely inappropriate for the continuing good growth of your Îselfâ......(and Iâm sure youâre not believing a thing Iâm telling you.) Youâve become Îsexually boredâ? Yes, Iâm sure you have!! Know why? Because sex, really GOOD sex, is not JUST a physical activity. Really GOOD sex is the result of two stage-of-life-appropriate people, who have taken the long time necessary to get to KNOW each other mentally, emotionally and spiritually, coming together to share that most wonderful of all forms of communication. This is, most likely, something YOU, Sara, will never know. At 14 it is more appropriate that you be working very very hard to get good grades and preparing yourself for college and for some wonderful career......and for being modest and charming. Sara, I donât CARE what Îotherâ kids do........âother kidsâ didnât write to me, YOU did......and you told me these things because you wanted ME to tell you to stop. Do you have a shot at being a healthy grown-up? Yes, you do. If youâre interested in knowing more, write again. And, for goodness sakes, THINK for a minute. You only get to be a youngster once.......donât rush things! Enjoy being an adolescent.......youâll never again go through this time, or developmental stage again. (Yes, I know, thank heaven!)! Sara, youâll be a Îgrown-upâ for a verrrrrry long time. If you miss any important stages along the way....well, go look up the work Îrueâ in the dictionary. Change your ways NOW or you will have a very long time to experience itâs meaning. - Annabelle