Q - Dear Annabelle, This guy and I have been going out (steady) for only 5 days today, October. 22nd. We've known each other for 4 years but haven't seen each other much till lately. He broke up with his ex-girlfriend cuz she was cheating on him and asked me out right away. I broke up with a sweet guy (who happens to be friends with his brother) for him but Things are movin' a little fast. His ex is trying to get people to hate me and beat my ass and she's talking so much stuff that i want to cry. I have been seeing "the guy" every day,Iāve been skipping school to be with him and away from his ex. "the guy" is totally sweet and somewhat understanding and I know he cares deeply for me but he's movin' a little fast. We already have an understanding that I won't have sex right away in a relationship although I think he thinks he can change my mind but anyways, he's been doing a lot of things to me that makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't know why....I've done more things with guys than this before even going steady with them but now sometimes it feels uncomfortable or it hurts or it gets boring. I've given him excuses like: "I need a cigarette, want one?" "Who's here? Someone's here!" just so he'd have to get up and check and i could get dressed and light up a cigarette and turn on the TV so he couldn't continue. He and his ex girlfriend went out for 3 months and had sex once during the 2nd month....its getting too physical in just 5 days! Well not too physical, it just makes me uncomfortable and I don't know why but I hate the feeling of being somewhere I don't wanna be cuz I feel very uncomfortable and I just wait and pray it will be over soon. I like this guy A LOT and i guess what I'm asking is: 1. How come I feel uncomfortable a lot of the times when he's doing things physically to me, when I've done it many times before? 2. How can I tell him to just stop cuz I don't want to, instead of making excuses....AND not have him ever doubt his wanted to be with me since it seems like I'm not physical enough..? 3. What can I do about his big mouth ex-girlfriend? I'm confused and I hope you made sense out of all that. help me ASAP cuz I'm confused. A - Dear Nicole, Youāre feeling Īconfusedā because your behavior is completely self destructive and youāre at Īoddsā with yourself on how to understand your life. Being a sexually active teenager is inviting all kinds of trouble and, whether you know it ....or believe it ...or not, youāre on a terrible downward spiral from which you may not be able to recover. In just 16 years youāve gone from being a child with a promising future to a teenager with virtually nothing good ahead....all because youāve sought solace and comfort by being sexually available to any guy who wanted to have a little fun. Having a sexual nature is a wonderful thing, but without having the underpinnings of good character and a plan for your life that includes a good education....well this is no different than always eating dessert and never having a well balanced meal. I know I sound like a terrible nag here, but if you canāt take yourself in hand thereās no point in my even answering any more of your question. What youāre doing is worse than Ībadā for you. Iām going to leave this in your hands. You did take one correct step, you asked for help from me. If you are willing to do the work necessary to turn your life into something positive, Iāll work with you. Are you willing to work with me on your behalf? - Annabelle