Q - Dear Annabelle, Iām 19 years old, and Iām dating a 36 year old woman. Does that hurt my reputation? A - Dear Ricky, That would depend on what your Īreputationā is. This has interest from your side AND and from hers. Now, I do have a question.........WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?? Hereās the answer, ready or not. You, at 19, and she, at 36, are at entirely different life stages. Iām going to assume that she has some deficiency in her other relationships, (because Īnormalā women donāt have 18 year old boyfriends.....this is NO different than a 36 year old guy with and 18 year old female). Again Iām assuming, for her, having sex with a 19 year old is just more fun than sheās had in years, which speaks to the paucity of her abilities. I wonāt go into her pathology here. Sheās using you. Now, Ricky....here it comes. YOU, at 19 are one raging hormone and, (probably), think about sex at least 25 hours out of every day....thatās normal. Now, while it MAY be, (you think), Īflatteringā to your needy ego to have the attentions of a 36 year old.......(besides, all those stories and movies add to this fantasy)....you are quite clearly demonstrating that you arenāt either ready or able or willing to have an age-appropriate relationship with a female your own age. Ricky, are there any drugs involved here? On either side? (If the answer is Īnoā, ARE YOU SURE? What about her.....and HER friends?) You MAY be setting yourself up for an STD...(sexually transmitted disease), SOME of which, such as AIDS and Hepatitus3 are FATAL. (And, by the way, especially in these cases, Īdeadā isnāt fun.......itās loooooooonnnngggg and slooooooowwwwwwww and PAINFUL.) Now, hereās the last part. The part where Īwhat your unconscious is doing to youā comes in. In this wonderful fantasy youāre playing out here, youāre making love to ĪMother.ā See why I asked just what Īreputationā was at risk? - Annabelle Q - Dear Annabelle, Thank you for your answer to my question. No, I donāt do drugs and she doesnāt do drugs. I happened to be going to college and studying law and taking a leadership class. My pussy cat has been a mom for the past couple of years. We are some what stable. I donāt have my head up my ass, ok? I happen to know what Iām doing. (Yes and no.) I worry about what people think of me when I date a 36 year old, sure I do. The other side is saying, Īwho cares!ā Have you dated someone outside of your age? Iām not the only person who dates older pussy cats. A - Dear Ricky, Your question was Īdoes this affect your reputationā (I believe you mean negatively). My answer is, yes, it does. Now, there are obvious advantages if you want other guys to look at you and wink knowingly........hey, gettin it on with an older woman is the plot of lots of films and novels. However, the fact doesnāt change that you are impacting negatively on your normal development. That this is of no interest to you doesnāt change what is real and true. I wonāt go into the psychological ramifications of your behavior, because your answer indicates that itās of no interest to you. At your age, getting laid is foremost on your mind. Not your future or your developmental stage that would allow you to interact appropriately with women your own age. You are going to do what you darned well please. Itās your life.......what does it matter to you what other people think? I donāt suppose it matters to you that your behavior is NOT in her childās best interests............... - Annabelle