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Q - Dear Annabelle,
On more than one occasion I have encountered men on an internet
dating service falsifying their birthdates to make themselves younger.
What a surprise! I naively thought that this was the exclusive domain of
women's vanity and/or fear of rejection by men who commonly "need" to be
with a younger woman.
Most recently I agreed to meet one of these gentleman. While on a
date, he mentioned his age. It was 6 YEARS older than he reported on his
profile, (which explains why his profile appeared among my chosen
parameters since it wouldn't have if his true birthdate had been used).
I'm very annoyed. I've taken the risk of using my true birthdate, knowing
that there are men that will exclude me for that reason alone, but it's
who I am. I deserve the same honest information from which to make my
own selection.
A - Dear Lynn,
Miss Annabelle does not encourage cyber-execution under these
circumstances, however tempting or well-deserved it may seem. The need
some aging stud-muffins seem to have to be 'younger' speaks badly of
their inner psychic structure. Perhaps, though, they, (as do we), need a little
understanding here. Who among us has not been tempted by something rather
sinfully delicious just out of our reach and.........who knows?......wonderful
things have been know to happen when and where they are least expected!
While it is understandable that these gentlemen will shave years off
their bios, Miss Annabelle's research indicates that their anxiety about
their own desirability is showing. They care not a whit that they have
not only ensnared the delectible you into their duplicitous web, they are
merely feeding their own egos at the expense of your time and
antcipation. That these are not life mates becomes painfully obvious.
On the other hand..........?
You have presented yourself honestly and, for your troubles, have
been fooled by the unworthy -- and that is exactly what they had hoped
to avoid your knowing. Cyberdating is at once real and illusory and
allows everyone to put an image up for all to accept or to reject and
invites, as you have found, more creativity than is ultimately useful.
While not an absolute panacea, Miss Annabelle recommends a rather
longer email correspondence followed by discrete phone exchanges, (you
have his phone number and not the other way around), so, in the event
that one is not captivated by his brilliant personality, (which is what
these gentlemen are hoping for), one may discreetly withdraw one's interest.
That you are both offended and righteously miffed is absolutely
understandable. Miss Annabelle is aware that you would even possibly
sponsor legislation that these knaves have their images and dastardly
deeds spread across some website dedicated to cyber-liars.
However, consider this. Out there, somehwere, and the exception to all
this frivolous chatter, is a gentlemen, perhaps rather older than you might
wish, yet possessing of every other attribute that you desire. Now, would
you pass that up with rigidly set age parameters?
- Annabelle
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