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Q - Dear Annabelle,
Hi, I recently got back on the internet after a big fight with a friend, (male), who was online as well. To save any further arguments, etc. I set my self up with a new identity in IRC & ICQ. I was having a problem in channel ...he offered to help. We began to chat. I felt no harm in it as he didn't know who I was. He told me he had my ICQ and sent me a message. We began to message each other daily and I begun to listen as he was so upset about his girlfriend in Adelaide. He was going over but she had told me she didn't care if he did or not. He was very hurt. I tried to encourage him to stick it out and not jump to conclusions until he saw her.
Two weeks after messaging each other he asked me to call him as I would not, nor could I, give him my number. I did, (thinking he would know my voice anywhere, we had been friends for 7 years.) I gave him my mobile and our chats had gone to voice and he got off the net. He has told me he has never had feelings for anybody until he met me. He appreciates the friendship we have made as he has been lonely and has no one to talk to who understands him like I do. I tried numerous ways to try and stop him feeling the way he did, but I have always been in love with him and it felt so right.
That is how he say's he finds our relationship. He says it feels right and he wouldn't care if I was 300lbs had 10 kids and a giant wart on my nose it doesnât matter and he just feels so close to me. Why has this never happened in real life? I talk and treat him the same as I always have. He talked of me to this new person and called me a "low life scum bucket" whom he only tolerated for 7 years. I thought a bit hard to believe as you don't call some one up to come over for coffee when you don't like them. My friend who is in on this say's he is lying as he is hurt. I don't know what to believe.
My question now is how to end it. I was going to go to the airport like he asked and just tell him. I was going to write him a letter and send it to him for when he comes back. I was just going to disappear from the net and change my mobile number. My friend told me to tell him I met someone while he was away. I want to tell him the truth as much as it will hurt embarrass and anger him. I know he will never speak to me again but that had already happened it had been 3 months with no contact. He says it doesn't matter who or what I am but I know it will. Maybe he will think what he has been missing and see that we are compatible like I have always thought. I really don't know, but any advice you could give me would be appreciated. Even though I have lost him I don't want to lose him again. He won't discuss any of this with anyone as he knows I have logs and he said and did things through ICQ and email that he has never done in his life before so I know my secret is safe. He couldn't afford to tell as that would be saying he loved me all along like I thought or when he says it doesn't matter it does, which makes him a liar. Thanks for listening.
A - Dear Sara,
Well, this is a fine mess youâve gotten into! My guess is that, when, or, if he finds out, heâs going.....at least, and, at first,........to be steaming mad. He may settle down, but guys, in general donât like to be Îfooledâ, because thatâs just what they feel like....fools. I truly donât know how youâre going to handle this one. I can certainly understand how it came to be but, if you can sneak the dawn past this rooster, youâll have beaten the odds, thatâs for sure. Much good luck to you, and, perhaps, in the future, youâll find a more open way to communicate you thoughts and feelings. You might want to keep in mind that the internet isnât always the best way for two people to communicate.
- Annabelle
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