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Q - Dear Annabelle,
HOW DO I STOP MY HUSBAND FROM SPENDING MONEY.
IF HE HAS LUNCH WITH A FRIEND HE PAYS 9 OF 10 TIMES.
A - Dear A,
Men and $$ are an interesting mix. For most, money = power, (as in ćRemember the Golden Rule.....he who has the gold makes the rulesä), and, if the man feels the need to show that HE has the power he will often demonstrate that need by Īpicking up the checkā. Thereās often a component of insecurity in there as well.
You may be perceived as the Īrestricting motherā if youāve talked with him and are getting nowhere here. Iāve spoken with several of my male friends, (in business), and got Īknowingā smirks from their wives, so know that youāre not alone in this.
There are a couple of things you might implement. If YOU control the purse strings, put him on an allowance......boy, doesnāt THAT sound awful?), or set up an Īincentiveā plan whereby the more money that is brought into the afmily unit, the greater percentage of $$ he has to spend on treating his friends.
If, as I suspect, this is a power struggle, not only to impress his friends, and, by extension, himself, but also with YOU, then the best thing to do is to visit a good marriage counselor to find out what the anger he.......and you......are feeling is all about.
- Annabelle
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