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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have work with a guy, and we have become very close. This summer I started having feelings for him and wanted to have sex with him, not long after I found out that my husband had been seeing another woman. My husband and I are still together and I still want this other guy. I think we will be together soon. I want to be with him, but I
don't want my husband to find out. What do you suggest?
A - Wonder Woman,
I suggest that you DONāT cheat on your husband and, instead spend your considerable energies working out your marital problems. If you donāt yet have children and both you and your husband think extra marital dalliances are the way to go, have you considered dissolving the marriage?
Take a look at whatās going on here. Your husbandās unfaithful, youāre, (probably), angry and feel justified in being attracted to and acting out sexually with this other guy, (who by the way, thinks nothing of adding to the troubles in someoneās marriage), and your Īmarriageā is essentially a sham............all this and you're only 22!
Get a grip here, WW!
Now, take what is called Īthe long viewā and look down lifeās road a bit. How do you see yourself in five years.....in 10? Is this going to be a defining moment in your character......or is this lazy behavior, (and, yes, itās Īlazyā because itās the Īeasyā way), an ongoing expression of who you are?
I know, itās sooooooo much fun to get all excited inside at the thought of your Īsecretā. The problem is, this is not a Īmovie-ot-the-weekā with some romantically exciting interlude and a dramatically satisfying ending.....this is real life. Know what? ĪReal lifeā can get boring and messy........not at all like the days before you were married and were all excited about the guy with whom you now have a mutual cheat-fest going on. WW, your wedding day wasnāt just a really big party with a shiny ring and a beautiful dress........you exchanged vows, remember? And you just HAD to get married......remember that too? Well, here you are......and look what youāve got.........a real mess.
What ARE you going to do about the choices youāre making? Hey, sex feels great.
Feeling appreciated and loved feels great. Does being a cheat feel great, except as revenge, that is? Well, you get to make these choices......and you get to live with your choices. You MIGHT want to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and see just who it is whoās looking back at you........
- Annabelle
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