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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I am married and not in love with my husband but very good friends. I am in love with someone else who told me he loved me but became impatient waiting for me to leave my hubby and went back to his ex who supposedly treated him badly. He went back to her after I wrote a letter telling him I thought I should leave him and try with my hubby and that he should find someone who he can be with and give him everything.
It appears that while he was telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me he was also telling her that he missed her. He seems very confused and everything ended very abruptly after that letter. The day before he was telling me he loved me. This went on for 2 months so it was not a one night stand. He wanted me to meet his family. I met some of them and got along great.
What do I do? Back away gracefully or wait and see what happens and maybe call next week. He seems to want to try with the ex.
A - Dear Karin,
You say you are married and Īnot in love withā your husband. Well, instead of running all over everywhere to find someone ELSE to be Īin loveā with, wouldnāt it be a much better idea to keep your wedding vows and FIND lovable things about your husband? Do you have children? (This is a very dangerous game you are playing).
Remember the loving feelings you had for your husband before you married him? If he was lovable then, you can rekindle those feelings.....you might want to look up a Īmarriage encounterā group. Iāve been told those are quite good. ćLoveā is a feeling.....and all feelings are ephemeral.......they come and go over a period of a lifetime. While we are NEVER required to ACT on a Īfeelingā, itās in everyoneās best interest if we ALWAYS act from our highest selves and demonstrate that we are of good character.
That means keeping our word.......wedding vows included.
This other fellow? Let HIM demonstrate good character as well. (Remember the part in the ĪLordās Prayerā about Īlead me not into temptationā?........itās up to YOU to recognize temptation and to stay away from it.)
- Annabelle
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