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Q - Dear Annabelle,
All my husband can do is complain and gripe at me. I canāt stand it. How can I help him enjoy life and shut up?
A - Dear Shelly,
Your husband may never have learned to identify his feelings as a child, or may never have learned good communication skills. He may not value women in general or you in particular or even have any idea that he does, in fact, have the ability to be otherwise......(.and thatās assuming that he would want to.)
If you are 34, and he is about the same age or older, he may be going through Īmale changeā, something akin to the female menopause in that, not only are there some physical changes, but he is beginning to question his value in, and contributions to, the world in general........... and to himself in particular.
(Or, he may just be a grump.)
Now, there are several things that can come in to play here that may be of some help. Have him go, (or you go with him), to get a complete physical checkup. His doctor may, or may not, be aware enough to suggest that he get a psychiatric checkup as well.
Often, as we go through life, our brain chemistry changes, just as out bodies do, and there are now new things known about medications that can help to rebalance our bodies chemistry. It could be that something as simple as the non prescription
St. Johnās wort or something more medically complex prescribed by a doctor would be useful.
Going to a marriage counselor who can help the two of you communicated better with each other would likely be a blessing as well. That this is stressful for you is completely understandable and, if you still have feelings of love for him, then the prognosis is good.
Grumps can be just dreadful people to live with.......I have no idea how it must feel from their point of view. It doesnāt sound like an awful lot of fun....for anyone.
- Annabelle
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