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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I am a single mother of a 14 month old little girl. I have been dating the same man since she was about 5 months old. I am just wondering what is the best way for us to handle this situation, what is the most healthy way for us to have a relationship with her involved?
A - Dear Starr,
You are wise to realize the your daughter must be your first priority.......that will be the case for years to come. You didnāt mention the whereabouts of her bio-dad or whether she was ever aware of his existence. The most important thing for her is to feel secure and loved.........and that means that there NOT be an ever-changing parade of males through her life with whom she bonds and then loses.
If this man who is with you now is a Īkeeperā, then that is to her advantage. She is learning about men and relationships and security from watching how YOU relate to her, to other people and to the world. She will watch and learn how YOU, her mother, solve problems as they arise.
If men come and go in her life, then the attachments that she forms will become a series of heartbreaks and she will become numb and unlikely to be able to form healthy and long lasting relationships in adulthood.
Parenting is extraordinarily difficult and, at 23, itās understandable that YOU would like a relationship of your very own, however, to do so at the expense of your daughterās faith in a manās reliability would be cruel.
You sound like a loving and caring mom. Much good fortune to you.
- Annabelle
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