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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I don't know how to deal with a defacto relationship and with my children. My partner has just moved in my house and my eldest daughter, (13 years), is having trouble dealing with it. I don't know whether to just say to her,â bad luck you have to put up with itâ or , stay single for my children's happiness.Then I don't feel happy because I like to have a man in my life to share with. Which ever way I choose someone feels hurt.
A - Anne,
Your DAUGHTER comes first! SHE didnât ask to have two parents who didnât get along....she didnât ask to lose her daddy...none of the children did They didnât do anything here....YOU two were the grownups. (Do I understand that youâd like to have a man in your bed? Of course I do). However, in life, things are hierarchical and choices have to be made. YOU are being incredibly selfish and, if it hasnât already, this is going to bring down problems that you wouldnât otherwise have had.
If you can manage to BE a mother and NOT have some guy living in your house....or having your 13 year old knowing you have a sexual relationship with a guy...which is entirely inappropriate knowledge for her, or for any of the children, to know........you may have a good chance of raising a healthy family.
Take your pick....is it YOUR turn, (still), or do you want her, and, eventually, your grandchildren, to have a good shot at life?
That you donât Îfeel happyâ is entirely of your own doing. There are many ways that we, as humans, can express ourselves and create that Îhappinessâ feeling. Please DO find a way that will not harm your children.
- Annabelle
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