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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I am very frustrated. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and right
now we are broke up. He says that he still loves me but he can't be with me because of my attitude. We have a child together. So it's really hard to not see him. I still love him so much and want to be with him. But he seems so mad at me because I broke up with him a while ago and started seeing someone else. Eventually him and I got back together. What do I do?
A - Gisele,
What Īdo you do?ā...........Well, letās take a look at your choices from your childās point of view. You see, my point of view is really irrelevant.......but your babyās entire future lies squarely in your hands........and is completely dependent upon the choices you make now,........and tomorrow.........and the next day.........and the day after that.....and so on.
Look into your babyās face. What is your baby feeling? Did you know that the very first stage in a humanās life is the one where Ītrustā is developed? Do you know how that Ītrustā develops? By having a mommy and a daddy who are so in love with the baby that he or she feels so secure that thereās never a thought about any bad thing coming to harm him or her.
Do you know what babyās fear most? (I mean, other than loud noises or falling). They fear being abandoned or rejected. Do you suppose YOU ever felt that way when YOU were a baby? Ever wonder why you got sexually involved and had a baby while youāre so young?........now think about what you just told me.....äSo it's really hard to not see him. I still love him so much and want to be with him.ä Gisele, thatās what your baby is feeling....for you........and what YOU are feeling is a remnant of an unsatisfied yearning from YOUR babyhood.
Now, why is Annabelle being such a nag? Well, youāve made a grownup decision. You had sexual intercourse and produced a child. That may not have been your intent, but that is the result. There is another Īadultā decision the you now MUST make.....and that is to put aside YOUR unfulfilled needs and concentrate on that human being that YOU, Gisele, gave life to.
There are some things in life, Gisele, that are really wonderful if you do them well and with integrity. Being a caring and loving mother is absolutely the most important career you will ever undertake. You foreclosed your options when you spread your legs and got pregnant......now have the integrity to develop yourself into the kind of mother your child needs and see to it that there is a proper father.
Careless creation of a human life is one thing, but the purposeful raising of a loving and mature, contributing being is now the answer to your question of Īwhat do I do?ā. You CAN do this, you know. Maybe no one else in your group has ever done anything fine and noble. Know what? No matter what it takes........from this moment on, you now know that your life is going to be more than petty annoyances and misbehaviors. You have a mission, Gisele...YOU are going to raise your child to be someone wonderful and good.....someone who can fulfill all the human potential that is yours.....and his fatherās to give.
Now, kiss your child and go do what you MUST do....the world needs good people.
- Annabelle
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