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Q - Dear Annabelle,
Me and my friend of 6 years are now a couple (1 year, 8 months). I find myself wanting to leave the relationship all to often but am finding myself staying for every reason but the right one. I know what I should do, so why am I not doing it? I have a 6 year old whose father is deceased and he calls my boyfriend Îdaddyâ.
A - Dear Marilyn,
......remember wanting to be a Îgrown-upâ? Well, here you are! Youâre 23, you became sexually active........and pregnant......and now youâre a mom. Your 6 year old calls your boyfriend âdaddyâ because he NEEDS him to be his Îdaddyâ!! If this fellow has been with you for six years, and you care at ALL about your childâs future, put yourself on a level plane and quit letting your feelings run your life. Youâre a MOTHER now, and with that comes tremendous responsibility........THAT is what being Îgrown-upâ means, Marilyn.
You say you Îknow what you SHOULD doâ....PLEASE tell me that what you Îknow that you should doâ is be the best mom you can to your son......and that means being in a committed monogamous and, I would hope, marital, relationship. You actually have a chance of raising a decent young man to adulthood here, Marilyn.......(Iâm making the assumption here, that your son IS worth your attention?) Itâs not your sonâs responsibility that, at 16, you got pregnant......it IS your responsibility, as a MOTHER, to see that your son has the advantage of a good, loving and stable home.
Perhaps there IS nobility in you after all, Marilyn........you say that, ÎI find myself staying for every reason but the the right oneâ. Perhaps you HAVE stayed for the Îright oneâ, Marilyn..........for the very best reason of all........that you may give to your son a good home and a loving family. I know I hope so, and Iâll bet that YOU do too.
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Thank you so very much for replying,the funny thing is I HAVE decided to
stay committed, not only for my son, but for the simple fact I may never
find a man to love me and my son the way Germaine, (my boyfriend),does. I am
grown up now and I wonât lie, ....... itâs scary as I don't know what! Thanks
again for answering me. Your message reassured my decision and now we can
discuss marriage. I'm ready!!
A - Dear Marilyn,
Congratulations! Yes, life IS Îscaryâ......thatâs why it takes courage to live it.. and why the joys of decisions well-made are so wonderful. May sunshine be yours in full measure...
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Remember me? Well the last message I sent you I was pretty happy with where my relationship was heading. Well guess what? I'm pregnant AND I found out two days ago that I had CHLAMYDIA! At first I was trying to convince myself that my boyfriend wasnât cheating,but, lo and behold he confesses to having unprotected sex with someone! YES HE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME.
Thatâs not the end, (of course I want out). He blames me! He says, "If you weren't so busy going out and trying to bust your hump to keep me, I wouldnât have done it." Is that some shit, or what!? I feel sooooooooo stupid because now Iâm pregnant and, to be quite honest, I don't want the baby and I damn sure don't want him!!!!! It hurts sooo bad and I don't really have anyone to confide in.
A - Dear Marilyn,
Uh ohhhhh. Iâve been gone and look what happened in my absence! This is dreadful.....(but you already know that.) I donât even know what you want me to say......you already know what you SHOULD have done. About him: ....any time anyone blames ANY one other than themselves for their own actions you know youâre looking at a weak person. I strongly recommend that BOTH of you see a couples counselor and that YOU get good medical care. Good luck one this one.....youâre going to need it.
I wish there could be more....I'm not 'magic'....only YOU have power in your own life.
- Annabelle
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