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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I am a divorced single Mom of a beautiful three year old boy.
I am in love and living with a great guy that adores both me and my little boy. He went through great romantic pains to get me into his life, and to love again, after a bitter and abusive relationship.
At first, all he kept returning to was how much he wanted to marry me, and I kept saying that I was not ready, and that I was scared.
Although the relationship is as great as it ever was, he hasn't asked in quite awhile. Ironically, it is now that I think maybe I'm ready. I hope that I 'm not looking at this as now that it isn't so readily available..I want it.
I can't decide if I'm more afraid of him asking again, or never asking again. Probably the latter
A - Dear Helann,
Youāve got a couple of problems here.......the biggest one involving your son. Iām going to get a tad Īpreachyā for a moment to say that itās never a good idea to Īshack upā with a guy........and one of the reasons is the situation in which you now find yourself. The biggest reason, especially when a child is concerned, is that it endangers the childās sense of self and the childās ability to trust if/when/ the relationship breaks up.
I understand that you had Ītrust issuesā yourself......but youāve now imperiled your son and his ability to maintain a bond with people. Especially now, that heās approaching a crucial stage at age four, this is going to be really difficult if you fellow doesnāt want to marry.
You may as well bite the bullet and have this conversation with your boyfriend....if heās stayed around this long it would be marvelous if he is willing to Īdo the right thingā and be a real father to the boy.....and husband to you.
The work Īhusbandā means Īto take care ofā...........much good luck on this one. Life is about being courageous and having integrity..........this might be a REALLY good time to fix a fabulous meal and, with that Īgleamā in your eye look lovingly in your boyfriendās face and tell him, sweetly, that you are, (both), ready to accept his loving offer to be husband AND father. Who knows, he may have just gotten discouraged and is waiting for YOU to Īpop the questionā!
- Annabelle
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