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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I was just reading a magazine in which there is one story that says that men don't like to tell their age or speak of their past. What can I do to make a man comfortable ehough to tell me his past?
If a man has children from different women but none of the women was his wife, according to law, how many rights do the children have, and until which age do both parents have to raise them?
(I know that in some countries the children can oppose the wedding in
case the man did not raise the children). How much can the children influence the man 's life?
A - Dear Rose,
Your questions raise another question...........what is it in YOU that causes you to be interested in a man who has children by several women and has married none of them?
If a man does not wish to talk about his past, that is his absolute right not to do so. He does not owe you that discussion. If he values you enough to share that information with you, he will. However, if it is this same man, (who also has several children and no history of marriage), again, we have to come back to my original question.......wouldn't you like to value yourself more highly? Don't YOU deserve better?
Until what age to 'parents have to raise' the children? Well, once a parent, always a parent. The age at which children are legal adults in this country is eighteen. Many, at that age go out into the world to try their wings and grow into responsible, mature adults. (Of course, this process is greatly helped if the children have had responsible, mature parents).
How much can the 'children influence the man's life'? Just as much as he is willing to allow them to. I don't have a great deal of information here, but this 'man' sounds like a manipulator to me and he will likely tell you whatever he thinks you will believe to get what he wants from you. (There are such people, you know.) Are you so gullible? Are you so needy? Are you so willing, so anxious, to sacrifice, not only yourself and your future but also YOUR children?
You might want to consider my first question......this is about YOU, not about him........unless, someday, you want yet another woman writing to me asking me how to 'get him to tell me about his past'.....which will now include you' (unmarried)' and your children.
You deserve better....don't you?
- Annabelle
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