Can A Man Change?


Submitted by: Lynn

Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years. I am 25 years old and he is 27. We have had some very difficult times and I am beginning to feel like I may not be in love with him anymore. Therefore, a few days ago I broke up with him.

However, he has continued to call me and wants me back. My main problem with the relationship is the fact that he holds some very prejudicial views, (stemming from his father who is a racist). However, I have dated many black men before and my brother-in-law and nieces are both black. My boyfriend has had a problem with this ever since we started seeing each other. I might also mention that he is Hispanic (Central American) and I am white.

He keeps insisting that he will change and stop accusing me of wanting to be with a black man but I don't know whether to believe him anymore. Do you know if this is something that a person can change or am I just wasting my time?

A - Dear Lynn,

To put this in the simplest way possible, he is coming from deep insecurities. That YOU cannot fix. Life is too short to take on someone who is not growing past their weak spots. Marriage is long and not for the faint hearted. (This does not sound like a match). The world is full of wonderful, mature people. First, be sure you are in that highly desirable group, then, go find yourself a guy who is in that group as well.
- Annabelle


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