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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I AM 26 AND FIND A MAN, WHO IS 47, VERY INTERESTING AND ATTRACTIVE. WE'VE BEEN 'HANGING OUT' FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND HE TREATS ME LIKE A TOTAL WOMEN. I HAVE BEEN GETTING A LOT OF GRIEF FROM FRIENDS ABOUT OUR AGE DIFFERENCES AND WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
A - Dear Rowan,
What I think about it, and what your friends think about it, is not nearly as interesting as what YOU think about it. In general, I would have a couple of questions. Has he been married? If so, for how long, and when was the divorce?
If he's never been married, well, that's an entirely different question. I'll assume he's been married and has been divorced for at least two years. Look at it from his point of view. You look awfully good to him. You're young with firm, smooth skin, bright eyes, silky hair and no discernible wrinkles or sags.
You're still on the ascendancy, woman!
He, on the other had, has just gone through, or is still going through his mid-life reassessment of how he's doing in this world, and very likely isn't enthralled with what he's seen. He's either reevaluating himself, and using you to feel good, or he just likes your maturity level.
Most likely, women his age aren't as easy to impress, and heaven knows, aren't as young and relatively fresh as yourself. You get the benefit of his experience, he gets the benefit of your youth and enthusiasm.
This pairing would only be a problem if one of you were taking advantage of the other, say, for instance, you really want to get married and would like to find someone closer to you in age. The longer you spend 'off the market', so to speak, the greater chance you have of not finding the person most suitable for you.
If, by some chance, this fellow is marriage material and you're not bothered by the age difference, and, trust me, THAT is an age difference, well, it's your life, you're a grown-up lady and you can darn well do what you please. (But then, you knew that, didn't you?)
- Annabelle
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