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Q - Dear Annabelle,
Being in the military, I am able to travel. A few months ago, I met a man with whom I've fallen in love while at a two week school. Unfortunately, he is stationed across the country. We still in contact, including visits.
I know long distance relationships don't have much of a chance, but, if the bond is strong enough, is there a way to make it work, even when it could be a couple of years before we might be eligible to get together?
A - Dear Jenny,
Ahhh, nineteen.......thatās such a lovely age..............everything seems possible, even the prospect of Īfalling in loveā during a two week school. Jenny, thereās a condition called Īlimeranceā which refers to the feelings that youāre having now. Itās a term coined not too too long ago, (in the last ten years or so), to describe what happens when two people meet and have warm, wonderful feelings for each other. Itās the stuff of which romantic dreams are made and, boy, does it EVER feel all nice and snuggly!
Some people retain those lucky memories all of their lives, and, if theyāre very lucky, it happens more than once......(though itās not something one would want to make a habit of).......very little would really get done.
You asked if there were a chance of this turning into something more permanent.....like marriage, perhaps? Oh, absolutely! ĪChanceā encounters have changed more that one life.........and, happily, sometimes even for the better! Stranger things have happened and, if youāre actually well-matched and are able to develop your relationship over the months and years, thereās no reason to say that itās NOT possible! Gosh, if the serendipities of life were only ephemera, than weād have very little to smile about at all!
Hereās the (general) Īscheduleā for a good, solid relationship, possibly leading to marriage: (Youāre in the military, you understand Īschedulesā). Two people meet, (remember, a Īcute meetā is not a disqualifier), get to know each other..... sloooowly. (For the first six months, anyone can maintain a facade). Sometime during the first two years, each personās ability to maintain that facade will eventually erode. Now, sometime in the third year, (maybe sooner, but not usually), SOMEthing will happen that will be unexpected and fairly cataclysmic..........the interpersonal equivalent of a catās getting itās tail caught UNDER the rocker of the rocking chair. THEN youāll both get to see what/who youāve really got. Until that little event happens, youāre only fooling yourselves that you Īknow who the other person isā. Remember, marriage is NOT Īadvanced dating.
Work hard, be your best, and take your best shot. And, by the way, THANKS for being there to protect the rest of us. Youāre in an admirable and honorable profession.
- Annabelle
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