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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have just ended a relationship of 5 1/2 years due the racial & religion differences. I am a Chinese free thinker & she was a Malay Muslim.
How to get over problem & what went wrong?
A - Dear Steven,
Well, this is a two-parter so, here goes. Now, back in the Īolden daysā before hormones got to have a say with whom people mated, your honored parents and their honored parents took care of the matchmaking chores. They picked a mate who was from your village, from your own social status and perhaps from among your own playmates. Everyone grew up together knowing that whom they would marry was determined other than by one set of glands calling to each other. People married, most probably respected each other, some may even have fallen in love and lived happily ever after.
Now, as Īwe all knowā, new fashioned ways are better. So here we are at part two:
How do you get over her? Well, since she stirred your heart and sent your hormones racing, you, sir, are in for a bit of a time. The general rule of thumb is that the recovery period from a relationship is about half the life of the relationship itself. You do the math.
There is a behavioral Ītrickā that can help (ha)..........(as in, when your heartās hurting not much does good............but you might try it). If you place a rubber band around your wrist and, every time you think of her you Īsnapā the rubber band, you will connect an unpleasant sensation, (pain) with a relatively more pleasant one, (thoughts of her). Truth to tell, time is the best remedy, thereās no fast way to do it and, well, after this, do try and find someone a little more compatible with your core beliefs.......those are what won out, yes? (And, for what itās worth, religion IS a VERY BIG difference.)
I hope it was worth the ride..............isnāt being ĪWesternizedā great? Better luck next time!
- Annabelle
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