|
|
Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have known a fellow for the past 2 1/2 years and since we met we have become really good friends. During the last 6 months we have slept together and, not only has it not changed It hasn't changed our friendship, we have maybe even become better
friends than before it ever happened.
Even though we have never talked about going together, when we see each other sometimes it is as if we are together. We are really good friends. (I also know that one other girl likes him too). There is some kind of feeling inside that I don't want to let go of him but in some ways I do have to let go.
He is almost everything that I want, but he is not the type to settle down into a relationship right now. What can I do, or say, to him to maybe help me snag this one into my heart?
A - Dear Adrienne,
You certainly sound wistful. What I hear you saying is that you didnāt think ahead about the ramifications of having a sexual relationship and would like to know now, after the fact, how to make this guy more or less Īpermanentā in your life.
However, the relationship you are describing is what is know as that of a Īf_ _k buddyā. (A crude, but accurate, term). ĪF_ _k buddiesā have casually sexual relationships with, (whomever), until Ītheā really important person comes along. It is not often that a casually sexual relationship turns into a long-term relationship, much less a permanent one.
At 21, you have lots of time ahead of you. As odd as it may sound in todayās world, (or maybe not odd at all), sex is really better saved for a long term, committed, mutually exclusive relationship............otherwise know as Īmarriageā. The human male is generally structured to hunt the female, and the more difficult and arduous the pursuit, the more emotional investment in achieving his goal. Dedicated feminists pooh-pooh the basics of human genetic wiring. However, in general, being seen as Īrareā and slightly unavailable, even Īhard to getā, is often the better choice.
You may need to look back on this as a learning experience. At 21 you are still too young to settle down, so, in the next several years, while youāre attending to your advanced education and personal career goals, a greater level of maturity will lead you to a more suitable person and to more beneficial behavior.
Not to worry, this person and you will most likely always be good friends.
- Annabelle
|
