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Q - Dear Annabelle,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He is 29 and I
am 33. Our relationship is great except for one thing- My boyfriend
constantly lies to me. For example, when we were first together, I had
bought him a very expensive pair of shades. After a while, when I
didn't see him wearing them, I asked them where they were. He told me
he: 1. Ī left them at the officeā, (lie), or 2. Īthey are in the carā
(lie)
Then, one day, he walks in with an equally expensive pair of
shades. I asked him where he got them and he said, ćThis is the pair
that I had bought himä , (which was absolutely not true -- two different
brands). Eventually, I found out that he had LOST the shades and had
been lying to cover up!
The next major lie came when I found some letters written to him by
his ex-girlfriend. This, in itself, was not so painful -- what really
hurt me was the fact that he LIED about it. For months he told me that
he had not been corresponding with her, (lie). Then, when he found out
that I had found the letters, he said that they were Īoldā (lie) -- the
post mark dated them to within 6 months).
In one of the letters she thanked him for flowers that he had sent
-- I asked him about that - he said that Īshe was talking about years
agoā -- another lie! I later found bank statements showing that he had
withdrawn money from our joint account, no less
than 2 MONTHS ago to send her roses! Every time I have confronted him
with the lies, even after evidence has been found, he lies to my face!
Since then he has lied about not going out when he actually has --
going to the extent to make up incredible stories to cover up. I am not
sure what to do.
I thought for a long while that it must be me -- maybe it is the way
that I react -- the first lies, I went ballistic, then we talked and I
begged him to come to me first before he needed to lie. I would rather
hear the truth and have it hurt me than to be lied to -- which hurts so
much more!
He definitely has no respect for me or our relationship and because
of this, I think that we should break up. How can I believe anything
that he tells me?
Please help!
A - Nichole,
Short answer: Dump him........
Long(er) answer:..........Dump him........a Īliarā is just that, a
liar. Any questions?
Extra words: YOU are Īvolunteeringā to be treated badly. If you
have done this before, and itās become a pattern, get thee to a shrink
and find out WHY you have a need to be treated badly.
NOW, WHY do men lie? Well, for one reason, because then
can.......and they've had lots of practice conning mom and their
teachers. Now WHY this persists into adulthood is another matter.
(None of the answers are good here). Itās a conduct disorder of some
kind. Thatās most likely a characterological disorder and is a form of
sociopathy. This is NOT fixable. Not by you............ and not by
anyone else.
Hey, maybe he can run for President.
Translated: DUMP him..............
.......youāve earned better......havenāt you???
- Annabelle
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