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Q - Dear Annabelle,
Iāve found the most wonderful guy! Weāve been seeing each other for six months now and heās just an Īangel sent from heavenā, such a good and interesting person.
Only problem is two of my family members are
in a terrible snit....you see, heās of another race. Iām
so happy, as is he, how do I deal with people who are
unfriendly about this??
A - Dear Jan,
You deal with people who don't like your boyfriend because
of his race in pretty much the same way you deal with them
if they didn't like him for some other reason. You make
choices. If one of the two family members is your mother or
father the choice may be tough. Some people never outgrow
their racism; other people do. You have no control over that.
Don't have unrealistic expectations that attitudes will change
when family members see how happy he makes you. That may happen,
but you can't be sure it will. In any event, be prepared to
choose. Another thing to remember is that you and your 'angel'
are still in the idylic beginning of your relationship. Somewhere
in the first year or two you're bound to encounter rough spots.
Be prepared to deal with racism....perhaps yours as well as
theirs, in working through that process.
- Annabelle
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