|
|
Q - Dear Annabelle,
First of all thank you so much for your response. In response to your
questions,yes this is a committed and monogomous relationship, (or so I
thought). We recently moved in together (this past March), and we've also
discussed marriage for next June. The reaseon we decided to live together
first is to see if we really have a future together. I love this man very
much and I work hard at having a relationship worth anything. I know that
love is more than me telling him that I Īloveā him and vice versa. I know
that love is adversity.
But, sometimes I don't understand men, they tell you one thing and then they
do or say something to make question the so called love they have for you.
I don't want to seem like, or to even be, jealous, I want to be able to
trust him because without trust I feel like I have nothing.
I want to build a life with this man but not if he can't give me some of
what I'm offering him....love, trust, commitment, honesty,and monogomy.
A - Dear Lisa,
This isn't getting any better. That YOU think it's a 'comitted, monogamous relationship' is one thing. However, from the information in your first letter......it doesn't dound as though it is.......at least not to HIM.
Now......'living with' a guy to see if you have a 'future together' is just plain silly. Go out.....NOW.......and get a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book 'The 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives'. We do NOT do Īshack upā!
Dr. Schlessinger skips all the statistics, (that show why/that Īshack upā doesn't work), and TELLS you why it's NEVER a good idea. The choice is yours. This still sounds like you're too needy and that this 'relationship' is a non-starter.
Notice that it is YOU who are working 'hard at having a relationship worth anything'? Well, you little hearth tender you, it sure doesn't sound, (to me), as if HE'S bustin' his buns to acheive the same goal....in fact, he's leaking energy in another direction.......isn't he? Lisa, love ISN'T just 'adversity'......it's having the mutual committment to EACH OTHER that will get you THROUGH adversity. It's the outside world that may pose a threat.....not one of the two of you. Are you SURE you think this guy is marriage material??.......or are you just afraid that, if you tell him that you WON'T live together without being married that he'll just go away? (....and then you'll be alone?)
Wouldn't it be a really GOOD idea to find out........NOW???
Lisa, listen to yourself.......you want 'to be able to trust him, because, 'without trust, I feel like I have nothing'. LISA!!!! In order to be able to 'trust' someone.....that SOMEONE had to have EARNED your trust. You do NOT have this. Don't kid yourself here.
- Annabelle
|
