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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I met this guy through the Internet. He is located in Washington DC and myself in Toronto so it's a long distance relationship. Anyway, we hit it off straight away and talked everyday and e-mailed each other several times a day too. This went on for about 2 months and then we decided to meet for a weekend in Pennsylvania where we stayed in a hotel.
We met and we both found each other physically attractive and enjoyed each other's company. We didn't have intercourse, but kissed and cuddled....after we had been intimate he didn't want to lie in the same bed as me, (the room hadtwo double beds), and I became upset and felt shunned and rejected. I told him this, and he said he didn't liked to be touched after Īthe factā and that he and his first wife had a King size bed and she slept on one side of the bed and he on the other. Also, when they went on holiday they booked a room with 2 double beds!!!
Well, I was completely shocked because this guy had described himself to be a passionate man and this hit right out of the blue... this was beyond me. Anyway, after we got back from our meeting he e-mailed me to say that he had had a wonderful weekend. Because I was still upset by the fact that he didn't liked to be
touched after being intimate with someone, I responded to his e-mail by being very blunt and forthright about my feelings.
I told him that he was selfish and that basically he wasn't a MAN!! and how could he possibly call himself Īpassionateā, etc.etc. He told me he was very pissed off with me for saying all this stuff and our communication broke down. After about a
week of not talking to him I found that I really missed him and tried to make amends by telling him that I missed him... he acknowledged my e-mail, but didn't reciprocate my feelings for him.
I am now finding that I miss him more and more as each day passes and feel a lot of guilt and remorse for what I told him in the e-mail... I would like to patch things up with him...tell him that I would like to him us another chance..but don't know how.
Can you please advise me as to how I should approach this... Your advise would be much appreciated. Thanks you so much!!
A - Dear Narinder,
Well, I donāt know if youāll Īhearā me here, but, the two of you are NOT a match. Yes, there ARE guys like this. No, it is not uncommon. No, it is not Īfixableā. No, unless you think this way of having an intimate relationship is a lot of fun, things wonāt get any better. This is just who he is.
Now, letās take a look at who YOU are. You forgot NEVER to send an email that you might want to retract later. Narinder, words have MEANING....and once we say them, theyāre said. Thatās it.
As the risk of stating the obvious.....have you considered getting off the internet and meeting guys RIGHT WHERE YOU LIVE?? Try Īrealā carbon-based relationships.....scary thought, eh?
- Annabelle
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