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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I just found make-up on my fiance's shirt. We had an argument yesterday about him coming back home at 5:00 a.m., but I thought that I should give him another chance, since this is the 3rd time he does that in about 2 months. He always asks me to go out with him at night, but I really do not enjoy night clubs and bars. I am very upset because he had told me that he only goes to those places Īto be with his friends and have some drinksā Obviously he's also enjoying the company of some female friends, because IT IS MAKE-UP what's on his shirt!
I'm waiting for him to come back from work and I'll confront him....if I leave him for this, would i be exaggerating? I love him, but this is making me feel too bad. I have broken up with 2 previous fiances for infidelity issues, and I wonder if I should do as I've done in the past. I am very tired, depressed, and confused. I am angry and hurt. Is it because of me, or what? Thank you for reading this. I already feel some relief.
A - Dear Ligia,
Hmmmmmm, very good questions. Now, letās take a look at this. You have a financeā who likes to go out to bars and clubs ......and that is an activity that you do NOT enjoy. Letās stretch this into the future about five years. Same scenario, only now youāre married. Get it? You two are not a Īmatchā.....AND youāre screaming at him for being an alcoholic and no one loves ANY ONE anymore.
Of COURSE itās make-up on his shirt......you donāt think alcoholic studmuffins hang out in bars with GUYS...do you? (Of course, some do, but then youād have an entirely different kind of problem).
Now, that YOU are on your third Īfiance+infidelityā round, tells me that you saw your mom and dad play out this little scenario.....(you had to learn it somewhere)...... Know what? Decent men donāt cheat on their fianceeās......ever. That you put up with it beyond the very FIRST time tells me that you need to do some serious time with a very good psychologist.....either that, or play this round again.......and again..........and again. Understand? Look.........you take your clothes to the cleaners, your body to the gym and your car to the mechanic........now do your SELF a favor and take your belief system in for some serious restructuring. This is NO way to live......or IS it?
- Annabelle
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