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Q - Dear Annabelle,
About two years ago, I met someone. It started out as friends and it turned into something more. He's unlike any individual, anyone, not just myself, has ever met. I
feel like he knows he's in control and he swears up and down that it's not like that. He's a hard worker, but he's not easily committed to anything else. He'll say one thing and do another. He'll say he'll call to do something,then he won't.
He says that he can't wait to see me, but he won't go out of his way to do it- unless it's convenient for him. I e-mailed him to help me with something and I left two messages on his voice mail. He didn't return anything and when he called the next day he just passed it off as an, ćOh, sorryä.. kind of thing. I can't help it but when we're together, we are, and I know we are, truly happy and he tell's me so all of the time. (He didn't used to. he was always very careful, like I was, about saying I love you.)
There also seems like there is this high school crush tension, when we look at each other, sometimes we even start to giggle and we are in our late twenties! It seems like he's scared to get too close to the point where he is willing to screw up a little so I keep at bay, and of course it's leading me to this. I tried to break up with him once before and he was so upset. He said "Please don't give up on me, I love you!" He also has a jaded past, although It started late, I was his friend at the latter of this point. What should I do, in your opinion?
A - Dear Q,
Would you believe me if I told you that heās a mess and that youāre interested in him is what we call Īclinically interestingā? Look, I could go on for pages on this, but there'sā no point. If you are going to be involved with this guy, well, youāve got trouble on your hands...(maybe thatās what youāre looking for). He has, somewhere in his very early infancy, a terrible narcissistic injury, (most likely) and we have no way of knowing what is was. Now, even if we AND he know, there's nothing, at this late date and without more work than heād be willing to do, anything YOU can do to Īkiss it and make it betterā. Heās Īcalling out to mommyā........are YOU mommy?
If your idea of a Īgood timeā is to play Īmoth to the flameā and get your wings singed, go ahead. You have what you have....is this what you deserve..or want? Why??
- Annabelle
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