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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have been dating this guy for 1 year and 8 months. I want to get a commitment (engagement ring) and make plans to live together and possible marriage. He has been married (3) times and myself (2). I have (2) children (1) of which is living with me. We talk and feel it would be the best for us financially and emotionally to get together.
I have cheated on him and he knows this. I am wondering ..............my friends tell me he is Īnot the right guyā for me that he is using me for my credit and I could do better. I am in love with this man, (I think), and if we would live together I would like to be engaged. Do you think I should say single and keep looking or give this a try? Thank you for your advise and/or comments.
A - Dear Tina,
Oddly enough, in my experience, Īfriendsā who report this kind of information, i.e., heās Īwrong for youā are generally correct. From the little you tell me, Iād vote with them as well. Know what? You already know the answer to this one.........youāre just letting your Īfeelingsā, which have gotten you into trouble before.......lead you down the wrong path .......again.
Anyone thatās been married 3 times is a very bad bet. Heās obviously not a believer in commitment and these on-again-off-again relationships are going to be the ruin of your child. Youāve already been married twice......forego that, AND living with someone until your child is fully grown and on his/her own, unless you want to perpetuate this marital farce. I KNOW you have Īfeelingsā, but they donāt seem to serve you well. This is where your integrity is going to have to pull you through.
Statistically, living with someone before marriage does not produce as great a commitment as abstention. You may Īfeelā that your case is different, but, again, your childās future is at stake here.
- Annabelle
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